According to the CDC, Black women are three times more likely to die from pregnancy-related causes than white women. While data from California found the richest Black mothers and their babies are twice as likely to die as the richest white mothers and their babies. In 2022, Serena Williams wrote an article for ELLE detailing her birth experience. “Being heard and appropriately treated was the difference between life or death for me,” she wrote. From implicit bias to structural racism, and lack of access to healthcare, Black women, regardless of socioeconomic status, widely report their pain being ignored, often leaving them to care for themselves.
That said, for Black women, adjusting to motherhood after birth is more than just learning how to care for a newborn. “I now understand firsthand that I don’t want to pour from an empty cup,” beauty editor Aimee Simeon tells ESSENCE. Whether finding time for self-care to recover from birthing trauma, trying to maintain your emotional health through sleep deprivation, or modifying your pre-pregnancy beauty routines, finding time to refuel is valuable. “It’s important to take care of myself to best show up for my baby,” Simeon adds.
In honor of Black Maternal Health Week, three new mothers let us in on how their relationship with beauty and self-care has evolved postpartum.
Dermatologist, Dr. Elyse Love
How has your relationship to beauty and wellness changed since having a child?
Before having a child, my wellness routine was very high-maintenance and indulgent. I went to regular physical therapy, pilates, strength training, and massage sessions to prevent work-related posture imbalances and stay in shape. Now, I try my best to work out 2-3 days a week, but the rest are rare indulgences that I almost never have time in the schedule for. I prioritize sleep over everything. I usually get sick if I go more than 3 days in a row with poor sleep, which of course happens often.
What are your current self-care and beauty routines?
My relationship with beauty during and after pregnancy has been a journey for sure. I am proud that I have been able to be gentle and kind with myself as my body, skin, hair, and nails have changed over the past year but it has taken a lot of conscious effort. Right now, I’m 8 months post party and missing those super strong pregnancy nails. I want to parent from a place of love and patience and taking care of myself is essential to that. We are kinder people when we feel good about ourselves, and I want my son to think of his mother as the kindest person he’s ever known.
Any advice to other new moms who might be struggling to find their routines?
Give yourself grace, and try something new however often you need to. Your body and your baby both change so much in the first year after birth. It’s unlikely the same wellness and beauty routines will work for you throughout that time period. Also, prioritize rest and nutrition above all things.
I started strength training about 4 months after birth, but I found I was always sick. It was too much strain on my body, so I switched to low intensity pilates. For a few weeks, I woke up at 5 am and did pilates at home for 30 minutes before my baby woke up, then my baby started waking up at 5 am so that plan went out the window.
It will take time to find your new balance, and as soon as you do, everything will probably change. Embrace it and make it as fun as possible.
Beauty Editor, Aimee Simeon
How has your relationship to beauty and wellness changed since having a child?
My relationship with beauty and wellness has deepened since having my daughter. Moments to rest and regenerate are definitely something I took for granted pre-baby, and now I am constantly looking for ways to integrate beauty and wellness into my routine to care for myself. I now understand firsthand that I don’t want to pour from an empty cup, and it’s important to take care of myself to best show up for my baby. Some days that looks like leaving her with grandma for a few hours on a weekend so I can wash my hair or change my nail polish. Other days, that might look like laying in bed with her all day. Checking in with myself and honoring my needs in those moments has helped keep me balanced.
What are your current self-care and beauty routines?
My postpartum hair shedding is finally slowing down, so to make time for myself (and mask my new half-inch baby hairs), I dedicate time on the weekend to enjoy a thorough wash day: scalp scrub, treatment mask, silk press—you name it. After that, I also find much joy in doing my nails at home. I turn on a movie and spend an hour or so on my nails, which helps me feel more together for the week. Another non-negotiable has been deep tissue massages which works wonders for my physical and mental health— I try to schedule one at least once a month.
Any advice to other new moms who might be struggling to find their routines?
I still struggle to find my pace, which every woman before me assures is completely normal. Give yourself grace and try to make time to focus on one feel-good thing at a time to pour into yourself.
Lifestyle Editor, Victoria Uwumarogie
How has your relationship to beauty and wellness changed since having a child?
I think for a long time after having my second child I didn’t really care about what I looked like or how I felt. Honestly. I was just trying to make sure I was mentally sound and that I was meeting the needs of my two very small children, which is difficult when the older child is used to having you all to themselves. But as they have become big boys and are now 3-going-on-4 and 1 years old, I do try and beautify myself more often. I find that looking my best is just a great confidence boost. It lets me know I’ve still got it.
What are your current self-care and beauty routines?
I like to put on makeup when I go out for church or for special occasions with my husband. I recently colored my hair for spring to just bring some vibrancy into my day to day when I look in the mirror. Now that I’m getting out of the house again I love spraying my favorite Diptyque perfumes. And most importantly, I’ve been doing a whole skin routine so that I can turn around my hormonal acne after all of these years of it flaring up.
Of course, it’s at its worst when I’m pregnant so I’m just trying to turn around scars that were left behind from rampant pimples and cystic acne that appeared in both pregnancies. That is what I’ve really poured myself into lately. I’ve bought a lot of really great skin products and it’s just a way for me to make sure I’m pampering myself. A lot of motherhood is late nights and a lack of sleep. So if I can brighten up my skin and feel my best through my skin, it makes me happy.
These routines are important to me because they remind me that I’m more than just a mother. That is the best part of who I am, but I’m also Victoria. I used to beat my face and wear lashes all the time pre-kids. I colored my locs bold shades. I had fun when it came to my beauty. I don’t want that part of myself to fade. Therefore, I’m adjusting my beauty routine to the life I live now, to the woman I am now. As the 35-year-old married mother of two versions of Victoria, if I can get my complexion where I want to be, which is the goal, I will take a fresh face (with some Kiehl’s Daily Reviving Concentrate to help me really glow) over foundations and concealers any day.
Any advice to other new moms who might be struggling to find their routines?
Give it time. In the beginning, it’s going to be hard to find the time (but certainly you’ll have the desire) to pamper yourself. But you’ll find that as they sleep longer, eat on their own and find independence, there will be more room for you to pour into the practices that make you happy, including a beauty routine. Also, a wise person once told me, get dressed first! When we spend too much time only worrying about getting our kids ready for the day and tend to ourselves last with the tiniest sliver of time left in the morning, we deprive ourselves of the chance to make sure we look our best, which will help us feel our best, too.