Couple-Care is a monthly series highlighting inspiring couples in our community. Each couple discusses how “couple-care” sustains their relationship, the self-care lessons they’ve learned from each other and more.
There are no limits to what creative couple Cj Hart and Nas’Tassia Simpson can do—separately and together. Cj, a Bronx-born model and photographer, and Nas’Tassia, a Florida-born aesthetician, model and photographer find joy in connecting to community. “I get to display love and care to others. What I do requires a level of intimacy,” Nas’Tassia says. Meanwhile, Cj loves that he gets “to explore myself and the world while also motivating others to do the same.”
The two met around 12 years ago at one of their first jobs: working in retail at Guess in NYC. “Retail was brutal for us, but we found ways to endure it,” says Cj, who got hired after Nas’Tassia had put in her two weeks. “We were like two ships passing in the night that found a way to exchange our information,” he continues, detailing how Nas’Tassia gave him her email address. “We kept in contact ever since,” and have been dating for half the time they’ve known each other. “Best friend things. It’s hard to imagine a life without each other,” Cj explains.
One of the keys to keeping the spark alive over the years? Their couple-care routine, which includes everything from gentle communication to introducing the other to products for curly hair. “We both are making a commitment as two individuals to show up the best for each other,” he says. That means, “regularly checking in intentionally, and even unintentionally, to make sure we are doing our best to love ourselves and each other.”
Below, they discuss their couple-care routines, favorite memories together and more.
Their favorite couple-care memory
Cj: We recently went on a trip to the Ausable Chasm in upstate New York. Traveling is one of our favorite things to do together. Nas’Tassia came up with the idea and we found a way to make it come to life. We got a chance to spend time in nature, participate in activities and just spend time away from all the noise.
Otherwise, we are working on involving more couple-care practices. We’ve been together for a while now and recently took a deeper dive into the ways we’re communicating with each other, as we’ve come to realize that relationships require the reestablishment of connection—always. It eventually became a practice, and we understood it was something that we needed to do to make sure we’re taking care of ourselves and each other. At its basis, learning how to communicate better is a form of couple-care, too.
Their individual self-care routines
Cj: I’m more of a sporadic self-care practitioner. I don’t really find myself with any routines. I try a lot of things and whatever feels best in the moment is what I will use. Lately, I’ve appreciated sound baths, massages and acupuncture. I’ve also spent more time stretching, cleaning the house and listening to music.
Nas’Tassia: My self-care practices keep me sane, so I try to do them as often as I can. This is especially because I give out so much of my energy to other people, it’s become essential to find ways to give back to myself in a similar fashion. I start my days off early, because I really enjoy having some quiet time in the morning. I attempt to stay off my phone for as long as possible, think about how I’m feeling in my body and then write it down. Then, I find a way to incorporate some form of movement, whether it be stretching or taking a walk. If the weather permits, I find a way to allow the sun to touch my skin. Finally, weekly sound baths help with body aches and mild seasonal depression.
Their joint wellness routine
Cj: Our biggest practice right now is how to gently communicate. It’s less of a routine and more of a discipline on trying to show up for each other as often as possible. Some things that I’d like to implement this upcoming year are bimonthly check-ins to see where we’re at with our personal goals, and setting some goals together as a couple. We’ve been dating in our 20s, years full of self-discovery, and we’re both pretty independent people, spending a lot of time honing ourselves and our crafts. Moving forward, I feel a shift toward us wanting to spend more time intentionally with each other, and figuring out exactly what that looks and feels like.
The self-care lessons they’ve learned from each other
Cj: I’ve learned to take time for myself because of Nas. I’ve always been someone that puts everyone before myself. Being with Nas has taught me the importance of taking care of my body and soul—because if I don’t, who will?
Nas’Tassia: Cj has taught me the importance of speaking to myself in a healthier manner. You can do all the things to try to make yourself feel better, but if you don’t believe that you deserve it, it can be counterproductive. He’s my light on a rainy day, the smile I search for when I look around a room.
The beauty products they’ve introduced to each other
Nas’Tassia: I’m an aesthetician, so this may be a little unfair! As of really recently, though, Cj introduced me to this detangling brush, for our curly hair. That’s been really helpful for the both of us. I wasn’t a believer, but now I am.
Cj: Nas puts me on to all the products. She really puts care into what she puts on or in her body. I do think I recently put her on to a really nice body butter, though. She probably forgot about it because it’s almost finished.
