Don’t call Stedman Graham Oprah’s bae. The self-help guru and thought leader on how to transform every interaction you have into positive momentum for success, is an advice gold mine. With a new book out, Identity Leadership: To Lead Others You Must First Lead Yourself, he’s been out and about spreading the love and his wealth of knowledge with the world.
In an intimate talk at Thrive Global in New York City, Graham broke down the 9 steps of leadership that are outlined in his book, and admitted that he didn’t really understand who he was until he was 31 years old. He told the small audience that being around people like Oprah Winfrey and Gayle King helped him realize that he needed purpose, and that his life had been defined by others up until that point.
“I learned that it’s not how the world defines you. The only thing that matters is how you define yourself. And I realized, ‘oh women deal with this all the time,'” he said.
Though he was generous with his inspirational words, he was tight-lipped about how he keeps his skin so impeccable even with all the global trekking he does, and only admitted to using shampoo his on signature slicked back silver tresses. He did share how all ladies can feel beautiful—even in a society where diversity and inclusion still aren’t realized everywhere.
“You really need to have an identity and understand who you are so you can understand how you’re going to dress and how you’re going to look,” he told ESSENCE. “So you create a lifestyle around what kind of clothes you’re going to wear, what kind of look you’re going to have, what image you’re going to create.Then you can have access to the best resources in the world that can make you look [your] best.”
Self actualization, no lip gloss needed. If that’s how Oprah gets her daily glow, then we’re all in.