To be married more than 40 years is no small feat. Academy-award-winning actor Denzel Washington and wife Pauletta have done it, and in the process, welcomed four children who work and have found success in Hollywood. It all started back in the late ’70s, when they met on the set of the TV movie Wilma that they both were stars in, but Denzel admitted he didn’t truly see her to get to know her until after filming wrapped. The two ran into each other at a party months later.

“I had talked at that party about going to see a play. I went to see the play, and at intermission the lights came up and she was sitting [there],” he recalled to Kelly Ripa and former co-host Ryan Seacrest. “She said she just happened to go see the play…”

They started dating soon after, and Denzel was so taken with Pauletta he popped the question, a few times, before finally getting the yes he was looking for.

“Why was it twice? Why would I have to ask again?” he asked her during a chat with Access Hollywood in 2013. “Because I said no!” she replied. “You heard it here first!” Denzel answered. “She turned me down, she said no. And since it was three times, that means she turned me down twice.”

But of course, she eventually said yes, and the couple wed in 1983. They’ve managed to stay locked in through the ups and downs of love, and not to mention, a skyrocketing career and all that comes with it.

“What pops into my head: security, food, a beautiful home,” he said of the key to a happy marriage back in 2018. “The difference between a house and a home, it’s a big difference. You can buy a house, but that doesn’t make it a home—and not to say a man can’t make a home a home, but my wife has made our house a home, and raised these beautiful kids, and protected them and sacrificed for them. She did the heavy lifting.”

“We work at it. It’s work,” Pauletta told PEOPLE in 2024. “There are a lot of prayers for strength for staying in a forgiveness mode and both parts, mine and his. But it’s the basic love that we have for each other.”

There’s nothing basic about Denzel’s adoration for his wife, though. As he stated when receiving the AFI Life Achievement Award, she’s “The most important person in my life, [for] 40 years. Forty years of sacrifice, 40 years of forgiveness, of talking about faith, spirituality, love, real love, unwavering love in spite of myself. I would not be alive without Pauletta Washington.”

And where would Black love be without them both? Check out a few images of their beautiful bond from over the years below.