This story originally appeared on PEOPLE.
There’s nothing like a late-night studio session to get Lil Wayne all in his feelings.
In My Own Words … My Real Reality, a new memoir by the rapper’s ex-wife, Toya Wright, contains text messages purported to be from Wayne, in which he confesses to comparing other romantic partners to his first love.
“I want [you] to know that no matter what woman or relationship I involve myself with, I look for [you] or a piece of [you] inside that woman,” Lil Wayne, 34, reportedly writes.
According to the texts, Lil Wayne decided to reach out to Wright because he says he will always consider her his true love and the “perfect woman.”
“My definition of a perfect woman is [you]. Perfect mother, friend, and love. [You’re] perfect. Sweet but sexy, crazy but cool, mean but modest and if no one knows [you], I do.”
The rapper also released a book this week, Gone Till November: A Journal of Rikers Island, in which he calls Wright one of his loves and reveals she was the first person to visit him.
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Lil Wayne and Wright were married for two years before divorcing in 2006. They have a 17-year-old daughter named Reginae Carter, and the rapper still holds on to the dream of the three of them being together as a family.
“The problem is when I think about a perfect future with someone I envision [you] in the house and Nae in her room and me at work….perfect,” Lil Wayne allegedly confessed via text.
But as much as the rapper seems to want his first love back, he acknowledges she doesn’t want him and says that the text message isn’t in hopes of a reconciliation — unless she wants to!
“I know I’m too wild for you and it may seem as if I don’t take love or relationships seriously, but believe me when I say I’d gladly straighten up and fly right for you [cause] I know you’d accept nothing less,” Lil Wayne admits. “Given the respect I have for you and that lil’ girl, it would be nothing for me to do and be not what [you] want but what [you] need.”
As for Wright, the 32-year-old tells PEOPLE that she was nervous about revealing the information but wanted to do it to be true to herself.
“This is my truth, my life, my reality,” Wright says. “People always ask me about my relationship with Wayne and I just decided to open up and share it.”