The recipe for comedy is tragedy plus time, and Jerah Milligan knows the feeling of that time running out. He addressed that reality with his solo comedy show But Did You Die.
The multi-hyphenate performer shocked family and friends by revealing details of a mental health crisis he experienced seven years ago during the premiere. On stage at the Los Angeles Elysian Theatre, he approached storytelling with the raw vulnerability that made Baby Reindeer an instant smash.
The story was personal but not unfamiliar.
In 2021, the Journal of American Medicine reported that Black men had the biggest rise in suicide attempt rates in the nation. The alarming increase was in the double digits. Taraji P. Henson and Aloe Blacc have worked to promote suicide prevention resources.
Discussing the incident was not easy for Milligan. “Rehearsing was so hard. Like, I couldn’t say some of the words until maybe the week before,” he told ESSENCE exclusively. “I remember trying to practice and get off book, and it would be so draining that I couldn’t do it back to back.”
Milligan was a senior producer on Wild ‘N Out and a field producer on Desus & Mero. His other credits include Black Mirror and Broad City. He was a co-executive producer of Netflix’s Astronomy Club.
Improv skills might have helped if he pretended to play a character rather than admit he contemplated self-harm. He considered that “a cop-out.”
“I felt like it had to be me because I felt like if I didn’t do – if it wasn’t me, I’ll be able to hide,” he continued. Milligan displayed a fullness and fragility Black men don’t often have a platform to express. “Black men in particular are raised to be tough and not crying, not leaking,” he explained.
He pointed out that Black men don’t have many safe spaces, even among each other. “Men, in general, don’t necessarily open up to men,” the comedian said. He acknowledged that certain marginalized people can feel oppressed by Black men.
“I personally feel like Black men have been lumped in with White dudes, but we don’t have the power of White dudes,” said Milligan.
“Black men don’t have carte blanche that a White man or White woman has, [but] we do have more than Black women, to an extent,” he said. “A lot of times you hear about Black men, mistreating Black women, and Black trans people, and so I think depending on who this man is talking to – that person may not want to hear it because you still have it better than they do.”
Milligan might not be interested in hiding behind a character, but he is interested in developing new funny ones. He has been advocating for increased representation of Black men on screen for years as a co-host of the film review podcast Black Men Can’t Jump In Hollywood. The show was named one of “The 50 Best Podcasts To Listen To” by TIME.
He noted that while comedies Dave and Insecure have bottle episodes focusing on Black men facing mental health challenges, there has not been a larger project that took on their experiences. According to Milligan, the golden age of streaming left them behind. He’s inspired by series like Michaela Coel’s I May Destroy You, which was inspired by Coel’s real-life trauma. It didn’t make her a martyr, but it did display her pain authentically.
“I would like to do that with more of Black male health,” he said. “I think if you’re going to talk about Black men as a whole, you have to show the darker side and dirtier side of us as well, which won’t be great, but I think it’s just what it is.”
Milligan also admires the way the heyday of HBO managed to address infertility, panic attacks, and breast cancer with cheek. “Sex and The City did really well explaining what women were going through, and that’s why people still watch it now. And I think it made it sure you dealt with a dark topic, and made it visually engaging enough that people wanted to consume it at a rapid pace,” he said. “You can kind of combine those things. It should be informative without being heavy-handed,” he continued.
Milligan doesn’t want to absolve Black men. He wants to amplify all of them, from the cruel to the corny to the compassionate and conflicted. Centering their joy is a priority for him as well. Across the entertainment industry, budgets are being reduced, and slates are being slashed. “Comedy is shrinking,” he admitted. “I think it’s evolved into something different.”
Milligan is networking across to tell the stories that Hollywood might be leaving behind on their quest towards the bottom line. At his show plenty of creatives came up to express interest in working together, something he is excited about. “I have very funny friends, very intelligent people who I know are pitching ideas,” he said. “I think other generations could only have one. You know? We only could have Denzel at one point to do this type of movie, only Will Smith could do the blockbusters, only Kevin Hart could be the comedy superstar. I think that doesn’t exist for Millennials and Gen-Zers. I think we have an opportunity to be more,” he said.
After building a career that has allowed him to finally pay off his student loans and triumph over his darkest times, he feels like he is just getting started, and there’s plenty of time for him to tell stories about Black men that educate and entertain.
“I am actively trying to make that show now,” he added. “We didn’t get we didn’t get to do our Sex and The City yet.”
No trade headline can convince him that it is too late.
“I don’t believe in non-hope,” he said. “Hope is all we got to keep pushing us forward.”
If you or a loved one is experiencing suicidal thoughts or a crisis, contact the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.
