The 20th-anniversary edition of Confessions of a Video Vixen was published on March 4th, 2025. And, while there’s currently a lot of talk about the female body and having autonomy over it in the news recently, Elisabeth Ovesen, who many know as “Karrine Steffans,” one of the hottest video vixens of the early 2000s, gets real with ESSENCE about the backlash that she’s received over the years, and how she’s still healing from it. When her memoir first came out, it made space for conversations around female exploitation in the music industry, power dynamics, and women’s agency. With raw transparency, Ovesen left no stone unturned, and her candid revelations opened the door for other women to share their experiences as well. Presently, a savvy businesswoman, bestselling author, and literary coach, Ovesen is centering peace of mind and healing. Ovesen has graciously moved on with her life, and “Karrine Steffans no longer exists.”
There’s a calm, confidence that emotes from Ovesen’s voice as she speaks freely about her experiences over the past twenty years. Now, 46, and enjoying a quiet life, Ovesen quips “Elisabeth Ovesen is not new. I’ve always lived a separate life. I have always enjoyed simple things like: gardening, cooking, and creating recipes. But, “Karrine Steffans” is what people want to talk about still. The negativity drives them.” When Confessions of a Video Vixen was published twenty years ago, Ovesen exposed a lot about the inner workings of the hip-hop industry, and how the female body is often objectified. Writing the memoir was cathartic for Ovesen, but the public’s reaction to the book proved detrimental to her personal and professional life. “Make no mistake about it, the way the public has treated me, the way the press has treated me, and the way that everyone has talked about me, made up lies about me, vicious lies that are still circulating in the press today, have ruined a lot of my relationships.” The repercussions opened the door for a cyclone of experiences that left more residue of trauma in her life in its aftermath. Ovesen candidly shared with ESSENCE that she’s paid a price, yet has endured. “It has stopped me from doing certain things and caused certain people to not want to work with me, be around me, or get to know me. There’s been this cloud over me for 20 years.”
Elisabeth Ovesen is stronger and wiser.
Ovesen is wiser and has entered a season of life where she values privacy. She is unapologetic about centering herself and is intentional about perpetually making space for herself to be in healing environments. In hindsight, Ovesen’s stance remains just as it was when the book was first published. To be succinct, for Ovesen, it was never about the men, but rather, about her autonomy as a woman over her body and her actions. While some of the salacious gossip has been hurtful, Ovesen does not allow herself to be defined by it. She transparently shares that being underestimated has worked to her advantage in some respects. “However, at this age and stage of my life, I don’t believe in kowtowing to anyone, regardless of their power, position, or ability to help you gain power and position. I also believe in the power of allowing people to think you are stupid because you’re a woman. And, especially as a Black woman, I do believe there’s a certain power in not alerting the guards to your every move. There have been instances where I allow people to think I’m stupid because it allows me to move in silence, and without blockages. No one’s looking out for my next move. If they think I don’t know what I’m talking about, or that I’m dumb, no one’s looking to block me.”
Women have always been quickly labeled when they do not follow social norms. And, Ovesen knows that there will always be consequences for choices and that people will always form their own opinions. “However, I’m strong enough to withstand it, and bold enough to hold my head up through it, because I believe that what’s done in the dark will always come to light. I believe that tables do a lot of things, but one thing they always do is turn. I have stood my ground throughout it all, but it would’ve killed anybody else. Anybody else may have killed themselves, and I’ve certainly tried. If I were a different person, I’d be dead right now. I can guarantee you that.” Ovesen is not in denial. She takes ownership of her decisions. And, at this stage of her life–men are not her center. Though in a private relationship, Ovesen is not confused at all about her views about being a woman in a relationship. “I do what I want with who I want, when I want, as often as I want where I want. And that goes for my interpersonal relationships. It goes for my business life. It goes for everything. I don’t live behind a wall. I don’t have confines. I live by zero rules, except for the rules that I give myself and the rules that the law allows.”
Elisabeth Ovesen is on a path to healing.
She acknowledges the war stripes that she has gained for the trials and growth that life has afforded her. “I spent a lot of the last 20 years being physically and emotionally beaten by the people in my life; by the men in my life, by my former husbands, by my fiances, by people just really treating me like garbage everywhere I go. I’ve just been fighting to stay alive, and it wasn’t until the pandemic that I was able to hyperfocus on my healing. I have been in therapy since 2006, but during the pandemic, I was able to hyperfocus on my therapy and put more things in place to help me recenter and center myself in my life.”
Ovesen moved out to the country, distanced herself from social media, and decentered all of her other relationships. “In centering myself. I gave myself all the things I would so willingly give to others, and that I would never get back. So, I just filled my cup with all those things by myself, for myself, with purpose, on purpose. All of my other relationships became even less important. Healing isn’t linear and it’s never complete. But, separation, fast-tracked me to where I am now, which is the most stable I have ever been.
For anyone reading Ovesen’s book for the first time, she does not want any young woman to feel shame because of their past. “My first sexual experience was a rape. I was kidnapped and raped at 13 from the local mall. What happens psychologically is that every time you’re with somebody after that, you’re trying to erase that first time. And, you’re trying to redo it. You’re trying to get it right, and you’re trying to make it better. It never gets better, because each time just gets worse and worse and worse. The reason for my autonomy in my younger years was driven by that need to undo and redo my first sexual experience moving forward.” Ovesen further shared, “Any autonomy that I have as a healed woman is because I want to, and I can. I’m just living my life as freely as any man.”
Ovesen wants women in male-dominated spaces to speak up for themselves. “I believe in speaking up loudly and often, I believe in saying what’s true and what is right, no matter what the consequences are.” Even in relationships, Ovesen wants women to feel empowered to advocate for themselves. For those seeking to please men, Ovesen shares “What every man wants and needs is to take care of his wants and needs. Let them figure it out for themselves. Because at the end of the day, even inside my relationship, it’s still about me. I wrote about this in The Vixen Manual, my third New York Times bestseller where I stated that even when one is no longer single, we are still singular individuals.”
The 20th-anniversary edition of Confessions of a Video Vixen was published by Amistad|HarperCollins on March 4th, 2025.
This interview has been edited for length, syntax, and readability.
