The recipe for any successful relationship boils down to both parties being able to show up authentically and fully themselves. Outside of date nights and baecations, it is essential to be emotionally well, intentional with your actions, and work through some of the hard stuff to support your partner best. Two couples in particular, Rita and Theodore Smith and Armani Aliyya and Woody Randall, know what it takes to keep their love thriving and everlasting. During a panel discussion moderated by on-air talent and host of the Healed Girl Era podcast, Gia Peppers, the Smiths and the Randalls share anecdotes of how they have kept their love story going after all these years.
Rita and Theodore Smith went viral on social media after sharing their love story on TikTok. After 43 years of marriage, the New Orleans natives have captured people’s hearts and minds by displaying the strength and bond they have in true Black love. While there have been ups and downs, Rita and Theodore Smith have openly expressed how they have made it work for them no matter what.
Amani and Woody Randall met on television through the well-known series Married At First Sight. While the couple took an unconventional route to jump the broom, they have been together for four years since the show aired. The couple has also recently welcomed a second child into their loving family. Both have great insight into what it takes to keep a marriage alive and how they have supported each other after the cameras turned off.
Why was it important for you to start sharing the love that you have from inside the house to the world?
Rita: It was important for me because I went through the pandemic and was missing my man. I was crying a lot. So I started talking about my man because he had to work so much. And I’m like, ‘I need my man home.’ So I started talking about my man.
Authenticity and vulnerability are imperative to maintaining that special connection with your partner. Rita and Theodore Smith have learned to share how they feel about one another and reassure each other that they are adored and valued. Outside of words of affirmation, it is critical to also set boundaries in your relationship. For Armani and Woody Randall, that was a priority for their partnership.
What boundaries did you all set within your relationship to make sure that the public viewers didn’t affect you all?
Woody: I would say, I think we both looked at each other as a form of a landing board. We both knew that once the cameras leave, producers, execs, and all those people go, we have each other. And we just look to each other for all our needs. If I’m frustrated, I’m happy, or whatever that may be. I think we had a good, solid foundation from the very beginning. Since we didn’t know each other, and met as strangers.
Armani: Yeah, we were kind of like, once they leave, let’s make sure we prioritize what we need. Because at the end of the day, people will tell you everything that they think. They project their ideas. They project what they think is wrong or right. But you all have to look at each other and know you’re my person. You’re my best friend.
The discussion continued with both couples touching on what they love about one another, the biggest blessings and challenges in marriage, and how they overcame obstacles. Being married can be tested, but despite the low points, there is always a way to bring things back to a better level. Peppers asked Rita and Theodore Smith how they had sustained their love and what advice they had for other couples.
Theodore: One of the biggest pieces of advice for Black love to stay together is keeping people out of your marriage. Keep people out of your marriage. Whatever is going on between you and her, keep it between her. You got to get together as Black love and work that out. Whoever they are, don’t walk away from them. Communicate with each other. That’s the key. Many times, we want to walk away.
The panel concluded with Armani and Rita expressing their ways of preparing for the ultimate love. While you may spend quality time with yourself to know yourself better or play from your strengths, anyone deserves unconditional love, and it is possible for everyone.