When I had my first child in 2020, a lot was going on. In addition to a life-altering pandemic, I had a C-section, and so the first few weeks of motherhood were a problematic combination of trying to heal and trying to learn on the go, without the assistance of my loved ones due to COVID. And while I got the hang of many things quickly, something I struggled immensely with was breastfeeding.
In retrospect, I didn’t know enough. I certainly didn’t know enough to keep myself encouraged to continue breastfeeding my son. After staying up throughout the night in the hospital to pump as much milk as possible due to a latching issue, by the time I got home, my breasts were engorged to the max, painful, hot, lumpy, and tingling in ways I’d never felt.
The discomfort was so much that I ended up with fevers, taking scalding hot showers as often as I could to ease the pain. So I told my unaware self, “I need a break.” I stopped pumping and relied on a formula that my son was recommended in the hospital to help with concerns that he may end up with jaundice, and I told myself I’d get back to pumping shortly.
A week later, I pumped and was getting very little milk. Soon after, I gave up. In total, I nursed my son for less than a month. It was embarrassing as I had high hopes.
So when I got pregnant the second time around, I made sure I knew what I needed to do. I tried to nurse more often, took recommendations for the right pumps, I followed lactation coaches on Instagram for tips and motivation, I drank a lot of water, took supplements and utilized products that helped a great deal. I went from a few weeks of pumping for baby number one, to pumping on flights at month seven for baby number two.
It’s, sadly, very easy for new mothers to throw in the towel because breastfeeding is difficult. It’s time-consuming, it can be painful, and there are messages out there that can make us feel like our efforts aren’t enough or unnecessary at a certain point. Acknowledging those misconceptions is a big part of helping mothers, Black mothers especially, whose children have had some of the lowest initiation rates for breastfeeding, continue with their journey longer. Here are a few.
Don’t let social media hurt your feelings. Some have an oversupply, which is nice, but there’s no shame in not having a freezer full of bags of milk for days and weeks to come. The average breastfeeding parent is producing around 0.5 to two ounces per pump session, so if you don’t have bags to donate and save for later, do not get down on yourself.
Medical experts say two to 10 percent of women have at least one inverted nipple. Rolling your nipple between your fingers to help a flat or inverted nipple take shape is helpful when you are trying to get your baby to breastfeed directly/exclusively, as well as using something cold to make it erect. There are also a number of products on the market now to assist mothers, including shields and nipple formers. Shields are also very helpful when breastfeeding leads to sore nipples.
One of the biggest lessons I learned is that you have to get to work more often, mama. While it’s recommended that you breastfeed eight to 12 times a day, particularly for the first month, when it comes to pumping, doing so every two to three hours, yes, even when you’re exhausted, will keep your supply in good shape. Do so for about 20 minutes.
Listen, Linda. A recommendation to supplement because your baby is not consuming enough milk is one thing. Pushing you to only use formula is another. You shouldn’t throw in the towel when it comes to producing your own milk just because a doctor pushed formula on you. It’s easy to get discouraged, especially in the beginning, but increasing your nursing and/or pumping schedule as mentioned can make a huge difference. And honestly, with the formula shortages parents have had to deal with, it’s best not to abandon your own supply.
As I mentioned, this was an issue for me the first time around. What I didn’t realize though, was that experts say breastfeeding or pumping more often to feed, but not to completely empty, will help regulate your flow. The body is following your actions, so do more, but release less, aiming to find relief and make sure your baby is content of course.
Relactation is a real thing if you’re not ready to stop. Per La Leche League, they recommend pumping at least eight to 12 times per day for 20 to 30 minutes, putting your baby to your breast more often in place of a pacifier for comfort to encourage an increase, and seeking out the support of a lactation specialist. Also necessary experts say, is patience. While relacation is easier when a baby is young, once they’re older, it’s going to require a bit more work, but it’s not impossible.
While trendy pumps are cool, I personally had to trade in those options for one with hospital-grade suction. And no, it didn’t cost over $1,000. I also didn’t find the perfect pump on my first try. I tried out about three, including portable and options you plug in the wall, and also had to find the right fitting inserts to finally get the output I knew was possible. (Very important!) The recommendation of my best friend ended up being my go-to pump, and she helped me find affordable inserts to try on Amazon. That said, listen to reviews and mentions from your circle!
While a pump recommendation from your loved one is great, if they tell you “You know you can stop now?” just because you’re going longer than anyone expected, including a year up, don’t feel pressured. The WHO actually recommend breastfeeding for the first two years. You have to know what works for you and your little one, and not be swayed to stop by people who really should be cheering you on.
