Prayer changes things. Ciara’s very full and joyous family life has been the most popular proof of that in pop culture, but it also was a game-changer for New Jersey native Shirea, leading her to her husband, Bronx-born Rafael. Back in 2017, she’d prayed to God that she would stop pursuing what she wanted in a partner, and instead, would surrender her desires to the man God felt she needed. So when she received messages of interest from Rafael around that time on OkCupid, a dating app that she initially used to find friends while traveling through Hong Kong and forgot to delete upon her return to the States, she made that very clear.
“After sending several unanswered messages, I guess it’s safe to say you aren’t selling guys hope,” he wrote her in what he thought would be his last message to her on the app. He was right. She had time, letting him know her true plans and prayers for the future.
“Actually, sir, I could care less about hope,” she replied. “I want to be with someone who knows how important it is to function in all parts of their life in faith… – including in a relationship.”
To her surprise, her response didn’t send him running. Instead, it set off days of the two communicating through thorough emails, opening up about themselves, connecting, and finding that they had chemistry. When they finally met, the two were smitten with one another.
“When Rafael entered my life, I knew this was my answered prayer,” she tells ESSENCE. “Our first date lasted an entire 12 hours, and during that time, topics that would have scared most guys off, Rafael welcomed. My talk of faith? He was just as passionate. My desire to move overseas? He was down. A relationship that puts a friendship first? He waited and waited and waited until I was ready before we got intimate. God did his big one!”
“For me, it didn’t take long,” Rafael says of knowing he found the one in Shirea. But what sealed the deal for him was her support as he handled a medical crisis. “When my eye doctor diagnosed me with keratoconus (when tissue covering the eye begins to thin and bulge outward), Shirea made sure I did everything I could to get my cross-linking surgery. This is also when I caught her travel bug,” he says. “She showed me the benefits of seeking medical help abroad, and we discovered that the procedure cost three times more in New York City than in Montreal. So, we took our first trip out of the country together to Montreal for my eye surgery. She showed a level of compassion and genuine care I hadn’t experienced from anyone new in my life before, and it was then that I knew this was the kind of love I never wanted to let go of.”
The couple, he a travel journalist, she a TV writer and producer (and former ESSENCE writer!), became partners in love and travel, jet-setting for two years straight, even settling for some time in Argentina during the COVID-19 pandemic. Upon returning to the States in 2020, they went to see her family for the first time in 24 months. It was an unforgettable day for more reasons than one.
“Rafael was acting strangely, but I was too happily distracted by being with my loved ones to give it much thought,” Shirea recalls of reuniting with her loved ones with Rafael by her side. “After a wonderful evening, we returned to our hotel and settled in for the night. When I came out of the bathroom, Rafael was on one knee with a ring box and proposed. I started laughing nervously out of shock, and it took me a while to say ‘yes.’ He later explained that he had planned to propose during dinner with the family but got too nervous. Although I wish my family had experienced it, they are so far in our business sometimes, I’m glad we had that moment to ourselves.”
The biggest moment of all, though, they shared with loved ones in a celebration that centered their journey and their love of travel. Thirty-eight guests were present as they tied the knot in a destination wedding in Merida, Mexico on November 11, 2023. The event also included a majestic white horse, fireworks, and Latin culture, honoring their setting and Rafael’s Dominican roots. There were also fire ants, but they didn’t disturb the vibe, ya’ll.
See images from their gorgeous nuptials, known as #DestinationPeña, and learn more about their love story and how their special day came together in this week’s Bridal Bliss.
“We never played games with each other,” Rafael says of falling for Shirea. “A few months in, I told her I was only dating her to give us the focus we needed. In the past, I had dated multiple people at once, which spread me thin and didn’t give anyone a fair chance at becoming something more.”
“January that year I had prayed that whoever God sent me on a next date with would be my last date,” Shirea recalls. “That I would be obedient, and I wouldn’t try to run from it. I wouldn’t try to any longer force something that didn’t work out in my past. I sat back in faith and surrendered to the idea of when he comes he comes. And when Rafael entered my life I knew this was my answered prayer.”
“Rafael knows that when it’s time for me to show up and shine, I’ll deliver. But I had been stressing over every detail for months—this shoe, that dress, every little thing,” Shirea says. “He didn’t know what to expect. When we had our first look, he gave me a look that said, ‘I knew you’d pull it together.’”
“He told me I looked like a goddess, and his excitement never went away,” she recalls of the first look moment. “Seeing his joy and pride in that moment made all the stress worth it.”
While the groom wore a suit from The Black Tux, Shirea wore a gown from Allure Bridal and was inspired by Bali and Indonesian culture for other aspects of her look. “The halo crowns that Indonesian brides wear are breathtaking. If you Google them, you’ll see they are grand and ornate headpieces. Initially, I wanted to find one, but my hairstylist advised against it, saying it might overwhelm my look. I’m glad I listened,” she says. “Instead, we opted for something more subtle yet impactful. My dress was understated, a mermaid gown with subtle white glass beading, back lace and halter top straps, so the three-tier crystal maang tikka I found on Poshmark and the 25-foot train I wore into the ceremony created a perfect balance to my look.”
The photographer captures a touching moment, literally, between Shirea and Rafael.
A majestic white horse was on hand for the couple’s photo shoot at their venue, Hacienda Yaxacopil. The horse’s mane was braided and he (or she) was ready to shine alongside the bride and groom.
“We aimed for an enchanted, magical vibe with a simple, earthy feel using brown and tan neutrals instead of black and white,” Shirea says. “The plan was to let the natural beauty of the venue shine through as the main attraction. Since the venue was filled with tropical plants, we decided to skip the traditional flowers for both the reception and ceremony, except for the white orchids carried by the female bridal party members. Instead, I wanted to complement the space with greenery, Balinese umbrellas, various shades of wood, and touches of metallic gold. Our vision was to create a space that captured the sultry energy of Havana, the natural simplicity of Bali, all within the lush jungle of the Yucatan. My first planner didn’t quite grasp the concept and wanted to assert her opinion too much so I had to say goodbye to her. However, my second planner, Diana Lomeli of Charming Studios, was a godsend and embraced my vision and executed it flawlessly. The wedding wouldn’t be what it was without Diana.”
Guests gathered under this stunning, massive tree before the ceremony, where they were picked up and taken to the spot where Shirea and Rafael would exchange vows.
That “enchanted, magical vibe” Shirea mentioned was present at the entryway to the altar.
“Rust, marigold, and various shades of green were already there, so we encouraged our guests to wear shades that complemented their melanin, and kept everything uniform so my pictures didn’t look crazy,” the bride says.
Guests react to the beginning of the ceremony, as the couple’s wedding party and parents made their way to their seats and to the altar.
Shirea looked beautiful as she made her way to her hubby.
Rafael was all smiles as Shirea made her way down the aisle.
Also full of joy was Shirea’s father, who escorted her down the aisle, every girl’s dream, on her special day.
The couple held hands as they prepared to say “I do.”
The Peñas make their official debut, to much fanfare, after their lovely ceremony.
Amid the earthy tones, lush greens, and sparkling lights, guests were ready to dance the night away.
The couple made their initial entrance as husband and wife along with their wedding party to a few different tunes. It included a mix of Sunday Service’s “Paradise” for the wedding party, with “God Is,” by Kanye West for Rafael’s solo entrance, and an acoustic version of Minnie Riperton’s “Loving You” for Shirea’s entrance.
The couple enjoyed their first dance to Luke Burr’s remake of Bob Marley’s “Is This Love?” When asked what they’re looking forward to most about married life, Shirea says, “We’re enjoying being obedient to God’s playbook for marriage, and seeing how being obedient isn’t just blessing and transforming us both as couple, but as individuals as well.”
For her second look of the night, Shirea wore a Madonna “Like a Virgin” era-inspired outfit, with full-length gloves and rosaries.
“Okay, so the party’s happening, everyone’s mingling, but then we have these professional drummers burst in with people on stilts and surprise everyone like BAM! The vibe goes from zero to a hundred real quick,” Shirea recalls of one of her favorite moments from the day. “They’re bolting out these incredible Afro drum beats with a spicy Latin twist, and suddenly, nobody’s sitting down anymore. We’re all just letting loose on the dance floor, feeling the rhythm, the energy. It was indescribable.
“What really made my heart happy was watching all our guests take in the whole experience throughout the entire wedding weekend. It’s not just about fancy vacations for us; it’s about living and breathing travel in a whole different way. And seeing our friends and family get a taste of that? Man, it was like a sneak peek into the future,” Shirea says of another one-+ of her favorite moments from the day. “We’ve got this startup, BLUX, and it’s all about flipping the script on luxury travel. So to have our loved ones right there, living it, breathing it, feeling it… It was everything. Like, they were getting a firsthand look at the experience our company is about to unleash on the world.”
“My favorite moment from the day of the wedding was when we shared our first dance as husband and wife. We chose an acoustic cover of Bob Marley’s ‘Is This Love’ by Luke Burr. I didn’t know it would hit so different than us playing it in the car or in the house,” Rafael says. “As the song progressed, we had planned surprise fireworks to light up the night sky. The thing is, I forgot that was happening myself. The music, the sky, my wife in my arms it was like time stood still or something. Seriously, it was one of the most magical moments in my life.”
Vendors
Venue: Hacienda Yaxacopil
Planner: Diana Lomeli of Charming Studio
Wedding Design and Florals: Diverso Design and Decor
Photographer: Emmanuel Alor of Cosmos Weddings
Videographer: Meraki Weddings
Makeup: Daniela Reyes Mattar
Hair: Felicia Peacock of She Sewn In Style
Bridal Dress: Allure Bridals and Magnolia Laine Bridal
Groom Suit: Black Tux
Men’s Grooming: Ricky Thyam
Fireworks: Arpisu Events