As the year comes to a close, many holiday activities are all about celebrating. However, if your year has felt like a whirlwind that skipped from January to December in the blink of an eye, maybe instead of festive feelings, your range of emotion is rooted in exhaustion or even burnout. It may be time to look at those unused vacation days and put them to good use.
Before diving into vacation planning, we want to highlight how burnout looks and feels so you clearly understand how constant exhaustion impacts your well-being. For guidance, we reached out to Meghan Watson, licensed psychotherapist and founder of Bloom Psychology and Wellness. First, she notes, the terms stress and burnout are used interchangeably. However, they are very different. For example, she tells ESSENCE, “Stress is a feeling of being overwhelmed by external stimuli or life changes,” which she notes is a normal and unavoidable part of life, but this will typically dissipate once the stressor is resolved.
However, burnout is characterized by four main areas: exhaustion, feeling detached and disconnected, a feeling of cynicism, and reduced efficacy—meaning you think you can’t get anything done personally or professionally. “It’s important to note it isn’t run-of-the-mill stress. Burnout is when that stress becomes unmanaged and is chronic,” she says.
Can you relate to these areas? You could be experiencing burnout. Watson also wants us to know that vacation isn’t the cure-all for burnout. She says it can be a launching pad for mindfulness if you’re experiencing a cyclical feeling of exhaustion.
A Restful Mental Health Vacation Starts with Prep Work
As you plan your mental health vacation, Watson says prep work is essential. So what does that look like? “Important prep work might involve a little self-reflection and understanding your burnout cycle,” she tells ESSENCE. This reflection includes thinking about areas of frustration and tension that reappear regularly in your life. To get the wheels turning, Watson says asking this question can be helpful: “Is there a boundary to be set around that frustration point?
The second part of your prep work: thinking about your expectations around productivity. Watson’s favorite question to ask her clients: “Are there any obligations or beliefs around what it means for me to be productive and valuable to others that are disconnected and unrealistic for me?” Whoa. Read us.
Listen, we know these are tough questions. And you may not have had time to (or want to) think through them, but this self-analysis can open the door to mindfully enjoying your time off even if your life doesn’t change overnight. “I’m not saying this reflection is going to kickstart immediate change, [but] I think it’s helpful for people to take this reflection into their time off because it’s hard for people in burnout to rest,” she says.
Separate Processing Time and Rest Time
Planning even the most low-maintenance vacations can be stressful, so always separate processing time (think: planning, list making, etc.) from resting time. Here’s why. “Planning, processing, and thinking, that is work. It’s not restful,” Watson tells ESSENCE. Considering that, she says to think of processing time like a vision board. This is your time to make lists, organize, and even dream.
“[Processing time] is time for you to think, reflect, and learn a little bit about yourself so that the next time off you take, you are better equipped to rest,” she shares. “Otherwise, [you’re] going to constantly get stuck in the mud between wanting to rest and never having the time to think about how to best utilize that rest.” She points out that separating this time from your resting time will allow space for, as she puts it, “a full-bodied yes,” because rest time should be just that.
“[During rest time,] you’re truly doing things that fill up your cup and re-energize you.” This practice can be as simple as napping, having a delicious meal, or walking in nature. “When you take that vacation time, you want to be able to utilize the time [by] resting, turning your brain off, and doing nothing,” she shares. “But you also want to take that time to create a system that you can return to that’s sustainable for you, so you don’t constantly fall into the trap.”
Be Curious
Now it’s time for the fun part! The vacation. A mental health vacation doesn’t have to mean you’re off the grid in the middle of a national park. Of course, unless that’s what you want. Maybe it’s not a national park, but taking in the Blue Ridge Mountains from the treetops of a treehouse is on your bucket list. No matter what, you want this to be a time of exploration and reconnecting with yourself.
“One thing I do notice is that those who are chronically burnt out lose an understanding of who they are because their entire sense of personhood and selfhood is wrapped around survival, maintaining, and worrying about what other people think and what’s next,” Watson shares. “Once you let that go, there’s a considerable void for folks to understand who they are and what they like.” This is where planning your mental health vacation destination comes in.
If a location piques your interest, go for it. For example, if you’ve never walked the streets of New Orleans and had beignet at Cafe Du Monde and have always wanted to, plan that. Or is an all-inclusive vacation in Mexico on your one day when I have the time list? Book that. But be sure to reflect after your trip.
“Remember to check in with yourself after the holiday to see if that was truly satisfying for you because it might not be that the holiday wasn’t satisfying because you’re so burnt out,” Watson notes. “Maybe you’ve done much prep work and the hard stuff ahead of time. But you’re just not as familiar with who you are, and you need to take an adventure vacation in Costa Rica, and that’s what’s going to get you out of your head.”
One final tidbit of advice Watson leaves us with is that if your burnout is more deeply rooted in unresolved pain or trauma, feeling revitalized after taking time for yourself might be more challenging. “You will need professional support,” she tells us. “Any connection with someone who can support ideally with a licensed mental health therapist to deal with some of that unresolved deep-rooted pain that’s going to help you do the healing from burnout rather than just coping because a therapist is going to help you stop band-aiding.”