Real Housewives of Potomac star Ashley Darby is standing by her stance that physical discipline of children is not only antiquated, but overall, harmful.
The TV personality, who just welcomed her second child with husband Michael Darby, shared a post in her InstaStories on the “unintended consequences of spanking,” which were all negative. When she received a strong response to her posting, with some saying she’s a newer parent and doesn’t know what she’s talking about, Darby delivered an impassioned message in her Stories about why spanking children to her is wrong.
“For those of you who are continuing to stand by, believing and perpetuating the idea that showing physical pain is showing love, which is just so counterintuitive and backwards if you think about it, I encourage you to do some research,” she said. “Look into the extensive research that has been done about children’s development and the negative ramifications later in life.”
She noted that while adults aren’t allowed to go around putting their hands on one another without consequences, adults are often allowed to hit their children.
“I don’t know why it’s ok to pluck, hit and whip children, but yet that’s not ok to do to adults. Are you really saying that the only way that you can help a child learn to do the right thing and to be moral is inflicting pain on them? No!” she said. “That’s wrong and you are minimizing and you are completely missing just how intelligent children are and how the brain actually works.”
She then goes on to talk about serial killers and links between a number of them being that they were physically abused as children.
“That does not yield healthy, happy humans,” she said. “You’re only practicing something that was done to you that has been passed down. But now we know better. There is much more information available that shows and disproves what you’re saying.”
“You’re only hurting your children and you’re not actually helping them or society,” she added. “I’m very passionate about this mainly because I see people even on Instagram showing themselves disciplining their children way too harshly, especially for their age.”
The RHOP star said she wants to speak out because she knows people can do better, specifically by their children.
“Spanking is a shortcut. It doesn’t actually address a problem,” she said. “It doesn’t actually help your child to rationalize, think through and apply logical problem solving later down the road…there are better ways. I’m passionate about it and I’m not going to stop talking about it.”
She added, “Hurting each other no matter how old a person is just not right.”