Yet another TikTok dating trend has gone viral, causing us to think about our interpersonal relationships and question how we approach our dating lives. “Beige flags” created on TikTok is a term to describe romantic partners’ eccentric habits that aren’t quite a deal breaker but less than ideal.
With the hashtag, #biegeflags garnering over 208.5M views, the trend is providing a safe space for us all to be open about behavior that our partners engage in that we don’t appreciate but aren’t exactly so heinous to break up with them over, like throwing a surprise birthday party with no one else invited, or spending too much time in the bathroom.
On the other hand, red flags in a relationship consist of more severe behaviors, like gaslighting, manipulation, general rudeness, lack of boundaries, and emotional unavailability, just to name a few.
However, with this beige flag trend, couples and people testing the dating waters have more freedom to explore what works for them while learning more about their partner’s behaviors and quirks. Unlike red and green flags that fall on either side of the relationship spectrum, a beige flag lands right in the middle as a neutral behavior – not necessarily bad or good.
The beige flag reminds us that not everyone is designed the way we are, as how we do things can be perfectly normal to us, while our partner may find our habits, hobbies, and patterns pretty odd.
That strange, odd, or quirky behavior can instantly be framed as endearing, sweet, clever, or funny as long as it doesn’t annoy or harm your partner, which can be a dealbreaker. A positive of the beige trend can foster healthy and open communication with your partner about expectations around behavior and boundaries, especially if you feel bothered by something they usually do, as they might not even notice.
Think of beige flags being a test to see if you can stomach your partner’s oddities for the long haul, as most times, while people can change and evolve, most tend to keep the habits that feel comfortable and natural to them. If you can handle their quirks now, it’s a good sign that you’ll be able to down the road when things may get more serious.
Outside of partnership, beige flags allow you to realize that you may have personality traits, patterns, or behaviors that aren’t ideal for your mate, as we’re all different and have unique ways of approaching scenarios. Aside from realizing your odd-ball traits, the trend can help you understand that perfection doesn’t exist, especially in committed or long-term relationships, so it’s best to reframe your thinking to be open and willing to accept the peculiar way of behaving from your partner, instead of writing them off or breaking up with them. Also, don’t be too busy analyzing their slightly unusual behavior to distract you from understanding why you decided to be with them in the first place – focus on their positive attributes.
At the end of the day, every single one of us is quirky, and we should be allowed to showcase our eccentric personalities, especially in the comfort of someone who is supposed to love, cherish, and respect our personhood.