“Being yourself can lead you to some of your darkest days, but also unlocks blessings and abundance well beyond what you can imagine.” That’s the impactful message that entrepreneur and author Janine Nicole Dennis shared about the essence of her debut book, “The Absurdity Of Being You: Rebel Elegance For The Evolving Soul.”
The book features an array of personal and professional anecdotes and reflections based on Dennis’ life journey. In it, she shares how she went from conforming in the corporate space to learning how to show up as her complete and authentic self, unapologetically in all spaces.
Dennis is also very transparent about the self-work she has done to overcome generational trauma, the trials and triumphs of raising three children, going through a divorce and growing a business all at the same time.
It’s an interactive book, which includes questions, reflections and space for one to write and do their own self-work. Dennis describes it as a call to action, inviting readers to recognize that society encourages us to be anything but ourselves. Instead, this Caribbean American author challenges us to do it anyway in the most meaningful and rebellious way possible in order to achieve our dreams.
“I wanted to use the book and my lessons, things I’ve learned to help people feel like they can show up as who they are, no matter how messy, no matter how different or how it’s going to appear to people,” Dennis tells ESSENCE.
She says her goal is to empower people to live audaciously through the messages in this book. ESSENCE recently sat down with Dennis to learn more about it.
ESSENCE: What was the inspiration behind writing this book?
Janine Nicole Dennis: I feel like I’ve always just been on this journey of kind of chiseling away at who Janine really is, aside from the family expectations, cultural expectations as a Caribbean American, and you know, religious things and all of that. The absurdity of doing you, for me, has been this thing of, like, who are we all at our core and how can we use the life lessons that we’re learning to kind of unearth more of ourselves as life goes on.
ESSENCE: What does true authenticity look like to you, and how are you challenging the people reading your book to take that action to do so?
Janine Nicole Dennis: I think the thing that we’ve kind of gotten away from is just like being contemplative about life. I think a lot of what we do now is so outward-focused, right? We have social media, we’ve got a lot of people saying a lot of things. And there’s this want to latch on to whatever resonates.
But I’m not sure that people are really taking some time to sit back and actually reflect on their lives, reflect on their behaviors, reflect on their mindsets, you know, unpacking where those things come from. I’ve spent a lot of time, not just during the pandemic time, but I would say, since I started my business in 2013, at least I’ve spent a lot of time just with myself, just really getting to know who am I? Who is Janine? Who am I at all these different stages in life, as a mother, as a daughter, you know, just as a human being?
Also, I think now that I’m in my later 30s, I’m asking myself, who do I want to be? What is the most genuine expression of myself that I can offer the world? Not the one that wants to be people pleasing or the one that kind of puts on because they think this is most acceptable. But, what really makes me happy at my core? I feel like I’ve just been tapping into that.
I don’t think it’s something you just wake up one day and do one thing and then it’s done.I feel like it’s an everyday kind of thing. It’s a week-to-week, year-to-year kind of thing, a decade-to-decade realization of how am I tapping into that thing which is my spark, that thing that makes me come alive. The thing that makes me unique. I feel like that’s something I’ve been working on. I think that’s the core of how you figure out how to be authentic.
ESSENCE: How do your experiences as a first-generation American of Trinidadian and Guyanese heritage play into some of the reflections you present in the book, particularly how you present yourself and show up professionally and culturally?
Janine Nicole Dennis: I don’t think for a long time that I realized just how much I was code-switching to be packaged a certain way, you know, professionally. At least one side of my family, my Guyanese side specifically, my grandfather, was very specific about us not ever really speaking the Guyanese patois. He didn’t want that. He felt it was colloquial and it was going to set us back. So we’re like kids now, and we’re hearing this accent playing out all the time. And it’s like, this is cool. In my mind, I’m like, I’m going to be that thing. I’m going to speak this way, regardless, I hear you gramps, but it’s going to be this way because there’s something about this that feels very innate to me.
But, I think in reflecting on why he didn’t really want us to get too focused on speaking and our dialect, I think, without knowing specifically, I think he had a hard time when he came to this country. I have to believe somebody made him feel like you can’t speak that way. Or that it’s not proper to be that way in the workforce. And that’s why he was setting it up that way. So for a long time, I’d come to work and I would speak one way and then I come home and the accent comes out…I wanted to speak to people who have these experiences and often feel like you’re at a crossroads.
What does your community look like? What do the five people you spend the most time with look like? Are they truly a reflection, a sacred mirror to you and who you want to be? Is your home inspiring? If it’s not, change it.
ESSENCE: Can you share one of those standout reflections you bring forth in the book that speaks of one of those dark days or tough moments you had?
Janine Nicole Dennis: I mean, professionally, you know, I think I came out of school, just thinking, I would like rise the ranks like everyone else, you know, I have my own goals for that, within a company, I thought I was always going to have a consulting firm, that’s what I said, I was going to have a consulting firm, like, after I was a CHRO (Chief Human Resource Officer) in a company. And then, like, 20 years down the line when my husband was, you know, retired.
And here’s the thing about that. The husband is no husband anymore. We speak these things, and we say these things. And we don’t realize that there’s a bigger plan. When I said that, I was quite confident in the person I was with, with somebody I was going to be with forever. And I made a very definitive plan, that this was how it was going to be.
ESSENCE: What are three key tips for someone to show up as their true authentic self, whether that’s at work and in social circles or at home, wherever it is?
Janine Nicole Dennis: Don’t be afraid of being alone for a time. I think part of this process is really like spending some time in solitude, which I have, and having that inner dialogue with yourself about where your life is if you like what you’re seeing. I think it’s a good practice just to spend that time getting to know yourself. Tapping into your pleasure is a huge thing, too. Whatever that is, whether that means hobbies, your love life, or your sexuality, that’s something I tap into in the book.
But that’s part of getting to the essence of who you are and how you want to express yourself in the world. Be honest about what those building blocks are to become who you need to be.
What does your community look like? What do the five people you spend the most time with look like? Are they truly a reflection, a sacred mirror to you and who you want to be? Is your home inspiring? If it’s not, change it. Is the town you’re living in inspiring you, or has your time there run out and expired on you? It may be time to think of setting down roots somewhere else.
So it’s this really holistic look at every aspect of your life and just being really honest with yourself about how content or happy you are in each of those aspects and being brave and courageous enough to make those changes on your terms.