You can thank TikTok for another dating trend.
This time, the social media platform encourages us to think outside the box regarding dating, and maybe it’s a good thing. The popular dating trend, Contra-dating, has entered the group chat, allowing us to reframe how we think about participating in the dating scene. Contra-dating empowers you to date someone different from the type of person you usually date, as “contra” is short for contradiction. The trend is supposed to help you take a step back to consider what you’d like in life and, upon reflection, eventually lead you to break out of your dating patterns and find someone more aligned fit for you.
How do you try it out?
Consider branching outside your social circle to find potential suitors, switch up the settings on your dating app, or reframe your thought process around a checklist. Do you need to date someone from the same culture as you, 6’0 tall, and without kids, or can you stand to cross some things off your dating checklist to widen the net of potential mates?
Also, the people you may be going for might not be the best for you, as they can embody specific standards or values of your past and not your present. Also, you could unknowingly eliminate a large portion of the dating pool because of aesthetics or different interests. To try out the trend, start by broadening your horizons to include people who are really aligned with your interests at the moment and not who you think you should be dating. Additionally, dating someone with a different schedule can add more joy to your life by adding spontaneity.
However, while it’s important to remain open to potential suitors, you should have your core non-negotiables established by now to help you wade through the vast dating pool. The easiest way to determine if you’re ready to try the trend is by self-evaluating your dating history. If you are drawn to a particular type of person constantly and without success, you should give contra-dating a chance. You may find a person that’s a perfect fit.