The dating culture has shifted, mainly due to COVID-19 and popular dating apps. With the ushering in of these dating platforms such as OkCupid, Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, and more, the “traditional” way of meeting a potential lover has gone away. Online dating is now the most common way singles make new connections. Not only are the majority of people under 30 using dating apps, but over half (55%) have been, and 37%, know someone in a serious relationship with someone they met on Tinder. It’s been reported that Gen-Z and millennials are serious about finding true love – without playing dating games, i.e., ghosting, stonewalling, commitment phobia, and toxic spontaneity.
According to Tinder’s Future of Dating Report 2023, over half of the millennials surveyed think dating is healthier for 18–25-year-olds than when they were that age, showing a desire for genuine love. However, dating on apps can be superficial and short-lived, especially if you seek a deeper connection or long-term partnership. Additionally, one can find themselves overwhelmed by the many possibilities and options on dating apps, discouraging them from finding a partner altogether.
Remember the good old days when you could meet someone organically on the subway, at the farmers market, or a bar? That’s a possibility, but you should be intentional about it, as the need for authentic connection remains. But how can one meet new partners outside of an app? “Cutie runs.” A cutie run is a dating term coined by former ESSENCE Relationships Editor, life coach, and the author of A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life. Demetria L. Lucas in 2012.
According to Lucas, the term means proactively meeting a potential romantic interest in person and public spaces. In a 2012 self-help article for The Root, Lucas defined the term for their audiences. “The ‘cutie run’ is a term I crafted to describe a practically foolproof method for women to meet potential mates. At its core, it’s the same way you meet people at networking events. I’ve just applied it to dating and suggested that women treat the entire world like one large networking event,” she stated.
Essentially, a cutie run provides women the agency to take their dating lives into their own hands by intentionally exploring ways to meet desirable partners outside of their phone screens and having fun while doing so. As Lucas once said, “ Sometimes we make dating harder than it needs to be. Others have called it “too forward” or “aggressive,” which I’ve never understood. If it’s too much to smile at a man, perhaps you’re better off single, even if you don’t want to be. And if you don’t want to be, it’s time to try something different. A popular definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result.”
If you’re considering going on a cutie run, you should first start small by making a list of local neighborhood places to have a fun evening jaunt and then expand to short-term locations, such as parties, dance clubs, weddings, gyms, and concerts, to name a few. Don’t be afraid to approach your future boo; who knows what could happen?