Solo travel is having its moment in the spotlight. From birthdays abroad to solo Caribbean getaways, women around the country are embracing the latest travel movement.
But what about the rest of us? The ones filled with wanderlust but who also crave the familiarity that comes with knowing who’s accompanying you to dinner and having a built-in friend for adventures that will leave you with memories for years to come?
After 30, I found myself at a crossroads. I had friends I’d known for decades who became travel buddies that fit like a glove. Yet, as schedules stretched in opposite directions with many friends shifting to marriage and motherhood, I could no longer count on them to hop on a flight like the old days. Travel group chats were growing eerily quiet, and I had to choose between either traveling solo or entering into groups where I wouldn’t know a soul.
The fix? Going outside of my immediate circle.
Here’s how you can do it; Maybe your next great travel partner is a soror you’ve seen at mutual events, someone you met at a conference or friend’s party. We get stuck in the mindset that you have to know someone inside out just to travel with them. When in reality, those moments are what lay the foundation for deeper friendships down the line.
Expanding on who I thought of as a “travel buddy” is how I ended up on a trip abroad with three women who I could still count on one hand the number of times we’d seen each other. For many, this would be unthinkable. We’ve heard the horror stories that happen on group trips, so why add fuel to the fire? But, with this method, there’s an added level of comfort that comes with realizing at least someone you know vouches for that person and there’s the excitement of really getting to know someone new and there possibly being a spark.
I realized I wasn’t alone in my desire to hop off the solo travel trend and instead have a +1 for new adventures around the world. So I tapped three Black women from around the country who had experiences traveling with new friends to everything from music festivals to getaways in France. While there’s no exact formula to ensure a stress-free experience, these are the steps they took beforehand to minimize potential issues.
Separate Bedrooms
When Sequoyah Glenn, 33, was approached to attend a conference hosted in her dream city, she leaped at the opportunity. Yet, when it came to logistics, the Atlanta resident was hesitant to take on the trip solo. Instead, she partnered with others who she’d only briefly met but found out would also be attending. The group immediately laid out their vision for their trip, agreeing they would enjoy it together on one condition: They have separate bedrooms.
“We had a long week ahead of us and wanted to make sure we had enough space, especially as grown women, to retreat and have privacy. So we selected a three-bedroom suite,” Glenn says.
Why It Works: Going from occasional casual niceties to seeing each other every second of a multi-day trip can be daunting. Separate bedrooms give each other the freedom to withdraw to their own space. It can be exactly what’s needed to recharge and reset your social battery.
Define Expectations
For journalist Lea Zora Scruggs, 34, of Los Angeles, while she’s comfortable traveling solo, she still prefers seeing the world with others. It’s important to remember, though, that everyone travels differently and has different plans for how they want to enjoy a trip.
“The biggest thing I ask is, what do you want to accomplish on this trip? If I’m flying halfway around the world, I’m eating all of the things, trying all of the things, and I’m learning about the culture and history,” Scruggs says.
Why It Works: Before flights are booked, have an open conversation about what kind of experience you’re dreaming of. If you’re hoping for an adventure trip, don’t go with the person who wants an all-inclusive lounge-at-the-resort-pool vacation. Determining this beforehand can ensure everyone is on the same page and minimize conflict in both the planning process and during the trip.
Establish Boundaries
“We set boundaries around bringing people back to the hotel. We all agreed no unknown men would be allowed back to where we were staying because sometimes things get sketchy… or loud,” says Glenn, with a laugh.
Why It Works: Creating rules can feel uncomfortable at first. The assumption is we’re all adults who know right from wrong. That’s a recipe for disaster. What you think is an absolute no can be a “maybe” to the next person. While you can’t account for everything, having those conversations helps identify the general gist of everyone’s comfort level.
Create Itinerary Freedom
For travel influencer Latrice Casson of St. Louis, when traveling with new groups, the 32-year-old is always ready to pivot and keeps her itinerary fluid even if it means straying from the group.
“During a trip to Guatemala, some were interested in visiting a Shaman and that’s not something I wanted to do,” Casson says. “So that was my time to go off and explore on my own. As long as you communicate with the group and everyone’s on one accord about the main activities, you can still carve out time to do what you like.”
Why It Works: Often, when traveling with a group, there’s the looming feeling you have to do everything together. Let go of that belief. Encourage each other to explore personal interests in addition to the group activities to truly leave your destination feeling fulfilled.
Traveling isn’t a one-size-fits-all activity. Don’t miss out because you don’t want to travel alone, or end up signing up for random travel groups you know you’re not really comfortable with. It’s ok to want the security and stability that comes with having a new friend or two along for the ride.
Don’t be intimidated if your best friend of 10 years can’t make your next trip. Expand your travel group by expanding your friend group. Who knows? You might come back from that trip with a friendship forged through the idiosyncrasies unique to travel; the exhausting itinerary planning, the moment you send the “Booked!” text, the laughter from the lack of sleep that comes with trying to make an early morning flight, and all the special moments created as you explore new cultures together. Happy travels!
Brittany is a journalist who’s passionate about history and sharing stories from around the world. She lives abroad and has traveled to 30+ countries. If she’s not on a flight headed on a new adventure, she can be found at brunch or with her head buried in a book. Follow her on Instagram @around_the_worldgirl.