Long before The Crown Act was even an idea, Paola Mathé did a bold thing: She wore a headwrap to work. Then a 20-something living in Harlem, she had a position as a sales and marketing manager in hospitality, the only Black person on the management team. She wore the ornate accessories often outside of her 9-to-5 and saw many West African women wearing them Uptown, but to step into the workplace with one on was taking a chance at that time, then the early ’10s (2010 and onward).
“I was nervous about it because it’s not something I had ever done before. And because I had such a front-facing position where I had to meet a lot of clients, I had to look presentable and professional. I was worried that my boss would tell me to remove it,” she recalls.
To her surprise, no one said anything. Well, someone did say something.
“My boss called me into her office, and I thought it was about my headwrap. And then at the end of the meeting she complimented it,” says Mathé. “She said, ‘I like your headwrap.'”
As it turns out, so did a lot of other people. Mathé’s headwraps garnered plenty of attention in her neighborhood. “I was a young, shy Haitian woman kind of finding her own voice in New York City, and I realized that it made me feel taller. I’m already tall, but it made me feel taller, which in turn makes me feel more confident,” she says. “And so it made me feel strong almost. It made me feel empowered.” Women asked her about the detailed way she wrapped them and about the materials. Her unique look became an unexpected hot commodity. “At the time, you could not go on Amazon and find headwraps,” she says. There were no wrap companies then. I had gotten stopped so many times, even by those African aunties who inspired me to wear them, that I was questioning everything.”
An answer came. In 2014, she decided to launch what has become Fanm Djanm, which means “Strong Woman” in Haitian, a celebrated and thriving headwrap and hair accessory brand. It was one of the first before before a crop of creators launched their own. These days, it’s one of the few still flourishing.
Far from her Harlem beginnings of selling the wraps at markets and pop-ups, Mathé now lives in Austin, where her brand’s first brick-and-mortar shop is located. The business is still self-funded, and it’s gone from a one-woman operation to a team with campaigns and collaborations with retailers like the Gap. She continues to think of new ways to innovate, from the materials she uses and even by having a book club at her store, with the overall end goal being to continue to offer sustainable hair products and accessories that can be passed down.
As someone who never imagined the business she started expanding beyond the walls of her NYC apartment, she takes great joy in meeting women who tell her how many Fanm Djamn wraps they’ve accrued over the years. “If someone were to ask me, what is your definition of success? That to me is it. As a maker of things, this product that can be used by women of many generations and worn over and over. And not only that, it’s so versatile, and you can style it based on how your hair is and how you’re feeling. It’s incredible.”
As the business has changed, so has her life. Mathé lives in Austin with her husband and their two children. As if entrepreneurship wasn’t complex enough, try juggling it while being a hands-on parent of a 7-year-old daughter and a 4-year-old son.
“I feel like I’m finally at the stage where I’m not drowning anymore,” she says transparently. “Often I’ll meet people and they’re like, ‘Yeah, but you’re doing it effortlessly.’ There’s no effortlessness when it comes to motherhood. And certainly not when it comes to entrepreneurship, especially when you’re very passionate about a lot of things.”
She adds, “And so to be transparent, it’s always been a struggle. I feel like I’ve always wanted to be present in my children’s lives because I never wanted to be someone who’s so successful that maybe people see the greatness in me, but the people closest to me don’t.”
And so, sacrifices have been made. There have been times where what’s important today may not be front and center the next day. There are moments where she’s traveling, busy with work, but there are also times where she chooses not to be on the move, content with being in Austin with her kids.
“I feel like I turn down a lot of things and opportunities, or sometimes I’ll take my time to do some things, because some things need time. As a business owner, you want to have deadlines. You want to make sure some things are launched, but there are other things that need time, too,” says Mathé. “And I think children will show you what’s real. There are a lot of things I was passionate about that now really aren’t as valuable, in my opinion.”
She also has had to be on top of setting boundaries. Moments with her children are not times to talk about business.
“I have an agent who used to message me when I was getting my kids ready for breakfast before school, and it was always urgent about something,” she recalls. “I had to tell her, from this time to this time, I’m with my children because I have to get them ready, and I want to focus. They say so many funny things. You don’t want to miss out on those moments. It truly goes by so fast.”
She’s also integrated her kids into her business. “They come to my store all the time. They’ve gone to some of our talks. Sometimes, they’re in my photo shoots. My daughter recently asked me if she could be a Fanm Djanm photographer. I told her she needed more experience,” she jokes. “She has one tiny little camera, those ones from Amazon, not even a real camera. And she was like, all right, I’m going to work on it.”
An essential part of the dance of managing parenthood and entrepreneurship is being able to ask for and receive help. That can be difficult for many, and Mathé is no exception.
“When I had one child, I was like, I’m going to do it all. One of the biggest mistakes I made was when I was invited to do a TED Talk. I took my daughter, and I didn’t have a nanny or anything, and she was one. I was not prepared,” she says. “She was in the hotel room like, are you going to take me out? I was like, mommy’s trying to get ready for this talk! And she did not care. And, of course, I had to stop. I was like, this kid is in this dark hotel room, because it was cloudy. I have to take her outside. I have to bring the stroller out.”
She continues, “And with the business, I think even hiring anyone when you first start, when the business is so personal to you, you have to be so vulnerable. To hire that first person is basically saying, here is everything in order to grow with them. And so it took me a while to feel comfortable to let people in. But then you can’t get anything done without letting people in. And so we got a nanny, and then the nanny would watch me try to do everything and she’d say, ‘Do you need help with that?’ I still have the baby on my hip. And I realized that, oh yeah, I’m still not letting go.”
Eventually, she had to get serious about learning to delegate. “I had to learn how to ask for the things that I needed because for a while, I would have people waiting for me to tell them what to do. I had to learn how to say, ‘We’re doing this. Jackie, you handle this. Renee, you handle this. And it took a long time, and by a long time, I mean years, to be able to do it. But when you do it, there’s something that lifts off your shoulders.”
With a little bit more breathing room and weight gone from her shoulders as she’s learned to lean on her tribe, Mathé has been putting in the work to practice more self-care. Instead of cozy spa dates or being still, she’s focused on being active so her future self remains strong and empowered. “Right now, I’m doing some strength training,” she says. “And I really like yoga for mobility.” She has gone on a walk with her neighbor and enjoys reading, taking advantage of the book club she’s created in Fanm Djanm’s store. She partakes in solo three-day trips, a recent getaway taking her to Puerto Rico, to find restoration and bask in the beauty of nature. She has also prioritized learning to communicate with the people closest to her to let them know when she needs space.
She doesn’t have it all figured out, but Mathé, through her boundaries and releasing control, is in a much better place than those days where she was “drowning” as a mompreneur. The key for other mama businesswomen to be in the same place, she says, is to be kind to yourself.
“Give yourself more grace because again, we can’t prioritize everything all at once. Do what you can at the time, because a little bit really will add up. And doing a little bit as you go really matters because it also gives you time to pivot when you need to. You don’t have to stay on that same course. You get to take a step back to look at what you’re doing,” Mathé says. “But you can’t truly balance everything when you’re in the middle of it all. You have to give yourself grace and really learn to lean on what’s most important.”
All image credit: Paola Mathé
