We may know former Real Housewives of Potomac and Love & Marriage: DC star Monique Samuels because of her marriage, but the mother of three recently decided to get a divorce from husband Chris Samuels after more than 10 years together, and she’s speaking about it. The TV personality hopped on Instagram Live to confirm the reports and answer questions from curious fans. During that open forum, she revealed the turning point in her marriage and when she knew divorce was the next best step.
“I was in therapy and my counselor asked me, ‘What is it that you want? If you could have the ideal marriage, if you could have everything you want from a marriage, what is it that you want?’ And she told me to write those things down,” Monique recalled. “Then, she told me, ‘If he is unable to do those things for you, and he is the same that he is now and he never changes, are you able to live life with him for the rest of your life?’ And she was like, ‘I want you to think about it. Next time we meet, we’ll talk about it. I don’t want you to answer right now.'”
After taking two weeks to jot down the pros and cons and ruminate on them, Samuels realized she “got to the point where I was in a place where I was so miserable.”
In October last year, rumors surfaced that the two were getting divorced and Monique, 39, debunked those claims in an Instagram post. The rumors were initially so believable because of how their marital issues played out on the first season of Love & Marriage: DC, which aired last year.
During the recent Live, Monique went on to take some responsibility for the breakdown of her marriage to Chris, 45.
“It wasn’t just all on him, it was also just with myself, dealing with my own issues and trauma, understanding myself and why I respond and react the ways I do, going through my childhood,” she explained. “Y’all, I’ve done some work. I’ve been doing some work and it wasn’t easy. It’s not easy to look at the things about yourself that you don’t like and you don’t love and say, ‘You know what, I’m going to love the bad parts of me, I’m going to love the good parts, which is easier. But even the things that I don’t like about myself, I have to really embrace that and love that.”
He continued that after doing the inner work, she’s seen personal growth and is no longer the person she was when she got married.
“You get to the point where you just accept the fact that this is the fact. Like, this is where it is, you know? And that’s what led me to the point where I was like, ‘You know what, I think [this] is what will be best,” she said.
The reality star added, “If we keep going down this road and we’re bickering at each other and we’re not able to communicate — sometimes not even talking to each other — then how is this going to affect our children? Because I was thinking like most people, ‘Okay, we’re going to stay together for the kids.’ But that never works because staying together for the kids means that you’re giving them a terrible example of what a relationship should be like.”
Monique filed a complaint for absolute divorce on April 14 and later filed an amended complaint for divorce on June 15. However, the divorce isn’t finalized and the couple are still living under the same roof. They’re also coming together, recently doing so to celebrate their daughter Milani’s birthday. The Samuels’ got married in 2012 and share three beautiful children together–Christopher, 9, daughter Milani, 7, and son Chase, 4.