Nowadays, making friends as an adult feels like dating. Going on awkward first dates, hoping not to be ghosted when texting, hoping to find a perfect connection. Despite how uncomfortable of a process trying to make new friends might be, it’s essential for our mental health, as positive connections help reduce stress, anxiety, and depression while increasing our self-esteem.
Although sometimes underrated, Bloom Psychology & Wellness therapist Dominique Mortier believes cultivating healthy friendships is central to our well-being and should be fostered and prioritized. “Friendships are only sometimes prioritized and can be underrated in many people’s lives. These relationships are unique because sometimes we are more vulnerable with friends than family or partners,” Mortier states. “We often show parts of ourselves that we may fear showing to others because we are worried about judgment or being perceived negatively. Navigating the world as a Black woman is already challenging when we have to portray ourselves in a certain way to survive, and this can suppress parts of who we are that show up in our friendships.”
Here’s why you need more friendships, below:
We need a space to connect with our culture and maintain cultural traditions through language, food, music, and spirituality, especially for immigrants who may feel disconnected from their community.
Gain a sense of belonging where sharing experiences and receiving alternative perspectives feels safe. Specifically for Black women, it can be challenging to share experiences of racism or microaggressions with other folks who are not in our community.
Create a space to share parts of yourself often suppressed daily. For example, being silly is a part of us connected to our inner child; however, we do not always feel safe being silly in our relationships.
Friendships can be a chosen family. If you were born into a family that does not meet all of your needs or cannot connect with you in a fulfilling way, friendships can be significant.
Black women also connect by embracing their natural hair and sharing beauty routines, which helps them feel connected to their ancestors.
Friendships also give us the comfort and empowerment to try new things and embrace new opportunities that we wouldn’t otherwise pursue.