My corporate job laid me off in February 2024.
When I received that email and lost access to my primary source of income, it shook me to my core. And while I missed the stability of a full-time role, I didn’t miss the late nights, chaotic deadlines, and personal exhaustion that became normal to me. I subscribed to the strong, independent Black woman narrative, where I put ambition over everything else. Something had to change.
Finding the resources to maintain self-care can be challenging when we live busy lives. According to the State of Self-Care for Black Women report conducted by EXHALE app founder and CEO Katara McCarty and released in 2023, 77% of Black women believe there is a need for more well-being tools and resources tailored to support their needs. For me, while being laid off was a complete shock, I knew the routine that I’d tried to keep up impacted my mental health. I needed to work, but I also needed a break.
“We have to start with decolonizing our minds. We’ve been colonized to believe that ‘the harder I work, the more I get.’ But more Black women are realizing that life is more fulfilling when you really live life on your terms. When your terms are softer, full of ease, and rest, you are almost more productive when approaching life from this place,” McCarty shared.
Getting more rest became the priority while I figured things out. So, instead of immediately finding my next 9-to-5, I wanted to prioritize things I couldn’t do before. Even though this transition felt like it was only happening to me, it wasn’t.
The viral “slow living” trend has become a popular topic in recent years. From the effects of the pandemic to people choosing to live life more intentionally just because, those who decide to live “slower” prioritize self-care, new passions, or tapping into their creative sides rather than running on the corporate hamster wheel. Slow living can encompass different things, like adding yoga to your morning routine, not answering the phone after 7 p.m., postponing a task on your to-do list until the next day, and replacing it with a guilty pleasure. Slow living is not just about, literally, moving slower; it is about living life more freely and less according to the expectations set by others.
“We are a society that likes to be on the go, go, go. And when you get laid off or are thinking of a career change, there is a reframing season. The most common misconception about slow living is that something is wrong,” trauma therapist JaQuinda Jackson, Ed.D. LPC told me in a conversation. “On social media, it looks like everybody is doing something. So when you’re not moving, you can internalize that and think, ‘I’m not doing enough, or I’m lazy.’ But the reality is, we have to be okay with being still.”
As a reformed “busy bee,” being still was uncomfortable initially. So, I can attest to feeling like I wasn’t doing enough when I compared myself to others. But in enough time, I leaned into the stillness to reflect and embrace solitude. At first, I dedicated myself to applying to as many jobs as possible. I committed daily to repeatedly sending my resume, rewriting my cover letter, and sending multiple emails to my network on potential opportunities. But the energy put into job hunting was equally as exhausting as my former job. So, I decided to apply less and create a routine that helps me ease into each day instead of “conquering” it. I incorporated journaling, devotional reading, and exercise in the morning. I leaned more into writing and gaining inspiration in the afternoon, educated myself on topics that can strengthen my skills, and ended the evening by catching up with friends or family. While each day can vary, having this relaxed routine makes room for other areas of my life.
Fortunately, not having a packed schedule improved my mental health. Being less stressed from meetings and workloads catalyzed the desire to write full-time and pursue other passions. Taylor Tucker, who went from working as a senior technology consultant to becoming a screenwriter, says that slow living helped her gain more confidence about her many talents.
“The biggest lesson I’ve learned from slow living is that I am who I think I am,” Tucker says. “Even though things have been slower, I know the results of my work and passions are still coming. My work has been validated. Before, I was in corporate, and now I’m writing. No one was really telling me, ‘Oh, I like that.’ But now I’m starting to hear it. And it’s like, wow, I wanted to do this the whole time. And now I know with the extra time, I’m doing it.”