When booking a vacation, the excitement that comes with being whisked away from the realities of your everyday life is akin to endorphins. Yet, for mothers, a vacation can be anything but a break as they tackle overwhelming travel plans for the family.
It’s the Mommy Travel Tax. Moms, who often shoulder more responsibilities in households than fathers, are often expected to coordinate everything from finding kid-friendly activities to packing essentials—which can include medicines, triple the clothing (in case of accidents), and that teddy bear your child refuses to sleep without. This can leave moms burnt out before the flight even takes off.
So we’ve brought in three travel experts who are also mothers to share the keys to vacationing successfully with little ones. Collectively, these moms have traveled hundreds of thousands of miles with newborns, toddlers, and young children, with partners and unaccompanied. They’re sharing advice on ways to make the experience of traveling with your kids less anxiety-inducing and exasperating and more relaxing and fun.
Involve your kids in the vacation process
As a member of a military family, Kenniqua Mon’a, 32, of Las Vegas, often has to travel alone with her 6-year-old daughter, Ryan. When it’s just the two of them, she includes her daughter in every step, which helps alleviate stress.
“Delegate packing activities for your child,” she says. “It helps them feel independent and the little things really add up. [My daughter] helps pack her clothes, what snacks she likes, and she has everything packed in her own bag along with her tablet and headphones. Let [kids] have access to putting the stuff that they want in their bag.”
Handle pre-flight anxiety
For American expat Shigei Gebremedhin, now based in London, when she travels with 17-month-old Sophia, jitters happen before even boarding. Fear creeps in, mostly rooted in how other travelers will react if her child has a meltdown or emergency while traveling. Now, as baby Sophia approaches the double digits in the number of flights she’s taken before two years old, Gebremedhin has found ways to quiet the fears that come with traveling with a child.
“I was tense beforehand because I was looking for social acceptance. I’ve come to the realization it’s less about Sophia, and more about the people around Sophia and me,” she admits. “[I told myself] you will never see these people again. And if I do, so what? Now it’s more about [being] comfortable and confident. I have more conviction in my place in the world as a mom.”
Lean on your girls
Mom of two, Monet Hambrik, 35, of Miami, has traveled with her husband and two children since they were newborns. She offsets added pressure by joining forces with other moms.
“I travel with other moms and their kids because while I enjoy working out, the other mom will watch the kids, and I’ll go work out, and then we’ll swap, and she gets time for herself. Having a companion like this, you get a built-in girls trip while traveling with your kids and carving out time just for me,” Hambrik says.
Include your interests in vacation planning
So often, between keeping the kids entertained and planning family events, mom’s interests get put on the back burner. Travel blogger *Kenniqua James, 32, now makes sure she includes her own wants in the planning to ensure a vacation, for her, feels less like a chore.
“If it’s just the two of us, I’m doing things that I enjoy too,” James says of treking with her daughter. “I look for adult and kid-friendly activities, even if it’s going to the pool at a resort where she can swim and I can have a little drink by the pool.”
Ensure that responsibilities are shared with your partner
A major part of travel anxiety for kids comes with losing their routine and having to adjust to exciting but unfamiliar surroundings. For Hambrick and her husband to help their kids become better acclimated and still enjoy vacation time, they divide and conquer duties.
“We’re a team,” she says. My husband is the one carrying all the bags and travel documents so I can focus on the kids. He knows where we’re going to check in, what gate, and will make any runs at the airport for the group, which is less stressful for me.”
Embrace childcare where you travel
Gebremedhin struggles with taking time for herself while traveling with her toddler. To alleviate that, she is making an effort to push back against unfair expectations of what it means to be a mom and travel with a child. So, she’s leaned on kiddie clubs and daycare programs that can be found at her destination.
“I get mom guilt,” she says. “I went all the way to another country just to give someone else my child. But now I do little pockets of using child care when abroad so I can sit by the pool, read a book, or get a massage. It’s awesome.” She admits that she hasn’t been able to let the reins go completely for more than an hour or two, but something is better than nothing.
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Moms around the world, you deserve a vacation that truly feels like one. With these tips you can still do that while creating priceless memories with your family. Book that trip, sis. And if you take nothing else from the valuable advice offered, you can’t go wrong with this:
“Make sure you always have snacks,” Hambrik says emphatically. “Snacks are king with kids.”