Who doesn’t love a good “baecation“? Seeing pictures of couples in an infinity pool in Bali or sharing a kiss at the Eiffel Tower gives us the feels. Experiencing it firsthand can be even more enthralling. We see many picture perfect moments online, but they don’t always pan out perfectly in real life. Spending days on end with your partner can bring out both the best and worst in anyone, but it doesn’t have to be a lot of the latter.
If you’re going on vacation with your lover for the first or tenth time, here are some tips that could help make your next getaway a success.
01
Discuss Your Expectations
Travel compatibility is a thing. Not everyone travels well together. That said, travel is a good way to learn more about your partner as you’re experiencing them in a different environment and outside of your norms. Talk about what you hope to get out of your vacation, be it to get ample rest, spend the majority of your time exploring, or a mix of both. You can also talk about expectations in terms of intimacy or how much alone time you need if any at all. By discussing your expectations, you can both go on the trip with your eyes open and meet in the middle.
02
Show Love in Your Respective Languages
When you’re at a home away from home, you don’t have the distractions of work, kids, or daily tasks (hopefully). This is the time to really love on your partner using the language they receive the best. Do they enjoy gifts? Then take them shopping, pick them up something you know they’ll love at your destination, or surprise them with a gift upon arrival. Do they enjoy touch? Plan a couples massage, make a conscious effort to hold their hand more, or give them a bath and lotion their skin when you’re getting ready in the morning. Are they a words affirmation person? Tell them how happy you are to be with them on the trip and things you love about them on a whim.
Whatever their love language is, be intentional about showing affection towards them in that way while you’re traveling. It’s a way to build intimacy and turn up the love a notch.
03
Put Your Phones Away
Phones are a huge distraction. They can be problematic when you’re trying to connect with your partner or vice versa and they’re glued to their screen. While it is a good idea to capture memories, be cognizant of how often you’re using your phone and why. Being on a trip with your partner, yet giving people on the internet or in your messages most of your attention can make them feel insignificant or ignored. It’s also not going to help build your connection. Instead, put your phone away and engage with your partner through conversation or simply by just being in the moment with them.
The same applies to work. Unless it’s absolutely urgent, the work emails and tasks can rest for a few days.
04
Check in With Each Other Often
At times, we assume our partners are having a good time when we’re doing things with them, but perhaps they’re not. Assume nothing. Instead, check in with your partner to find out if they’re enjoying the trip or not. You could do this several times a day, at night before you go to bed, or in the mornings before you start your activities. It may also be good to clear the air if you sense any tension by giving them the space to express any annoyances.
05
Try Something New Together
A 2019 study called The Contribution of Vacationing Together to Couple Functioning surveyed 112 couples in the U.S. to find out how couples vacationing enhanced their relationship and the way they functioned. The survey found those who engaged in shared experiences during vacation such as communicating, showing affection, and experiencing new things together reported better flexibility or cohesion post-vacation.
It’s understandable that not everyone is keen on trying new experiences, but you and your partner can find an experience you’ll both enjoy. It could be trying a new food, skydiving, visiting a museum or anything else that piques your interests. If they’re reluctant to try something new, this could be a moment to learn about any underlying fears they have around change or getting out of their comfort zone.
06
Work Together
Working with your partner could start from the planning phases and continue throughout the actual trip. Carry one another along and make sure they know what’s going on so there are no unpleasant surprises. That means when booking flights, rooms, and activities, you should be checking in with your loved one.
Things don’t always go according to plan on trips. You may face challenges, be it delayed flights, lost luggage, or accommodation issues. If you’re in a relationship, you know these kinds of hiccups can pull you closer together or cause bickering. If you do have arguments, resolve them quickly and focus on having a good time, because home awaits you.
Remember that you’re a team and be as patient as you can with one another. This could increase the likelihood of the challenges bringing you closer.