Although weddings are a joyous time, they can be expensive, especially if you’re a bride and groom’s guest or in the actual bridal party. If you must travel for a destination wedding in the United States or internationally, prepare to accrue some steep costs to your bank account. According to The Knot’s internal study of 1,000 guests who attended at least one wedding in 2021, the average price of being a wedding guest was $460. But after the throes of the pandemic in 2020, 68% of guests were willing to spend more on weddings, especially on a gift for the couple. So, what if you’re one of those who don’t feel comfortable splurging on a gift for the wedding, depending on if you have to cover your own transportation and accommodation costs?
Elaine Swann, etiquette expert and CEO of The Swann School, says the gift purchase is determined by how far you travel. “If you’re traveling to a wedding out f you are traveling to a destination wedding outside the United States, typically, your presence is your present,” she tells ESSENCE.
Swann continues, “Frequently, the trip comes with everything from airfare to hotel accommodations and any excursions that you would be involved with, and so the bride and groom would not necessarily expect you to provide them a gift.”
Yes, that’s right. According to Swann, you don’t have to bring or order a gift, as you invested in time and resources to make the trip internationally to celebrate the union of your loved ones. However, if you’re traveling domestically, you might want to open that pocketbook and purchase something for the happy couple. “If you are traveling within the country, my recommendation is to purchase still or send a gift to the couple,” Swann states. However, the price of the gift can vary depending on how close you are to the couple. “If you’re traveling within the United States, the amount you would spend on a gift is based upon your relationship with the couple. The closer you are to the couple, the more likely you’ll spend on a gift. However, the less close you are to them, you’ll likely spend less money,” she shares.
Swann suggests that the amount you spend on the gift has more to do with your relationship than the distance. I know what you’re thinking, Is it rude to attend a wedding empty-handed? Not necessarily. “It’s not considered rude if you do not purchase a gift. The key thing we must consider with gift giving and weddings is your budget and relationship with the couple,” Swann says.
If your budget does not allow you to get a gift for the couple, she recommends finding other ways to wish them well, for example, purchasing a simple card. Another inexpensive gift idea is framed picture of the bride and groom.
Erika Preval, another etiquette expert, has similar advice. “Your level of comfort, when spending must be taken into account. I recommend that you become familiar with the registries of the couples. A thoughtful couple will share a range of gift options they truly want as they enter their partnership. If you’ve also attended showers before the nuptials or will be at a destination wedding, your selection of gifts needn’t overrule your budget,” she says.
She also notes that while having a gift table at wedding receptions was previously customary, most couples are shying away from this practice. “The host of their registries will have their preferred delivery method. Do be aware that, if traveling, the newlyweds might be away from their delivery address a week before the wedding and up to three weeks afterward,” Preval suggests.
When considering purchasing gifts when traveling for weddings, be mindful of maintaining your budget, and try to show up promptly if the marriage is in the United States.