01
Enrique Jr. and Safiya
Enrique Jr. and Safiya, 37
Richmond, VA and Washington, DC
Together for 18 years and married for 13
What does “black love” mean to each mean to you?
Enrique: I’m Panamanian, first generation, so my “black love” was like black love with a little bit of Adobo. The way black love was shown to me was to work hard, sacrifice, and provide for your children. Now it means passion, empathy. I have the same responsibilities to my family as were modeled to me, but I don’t have to sacrifice as much.
Safiya: Black love means strength and resilience to me. I’ve watched my parents love each other hard and fiercely for almost 40 years, so I’ve always known that black love means covering each other – in prayer and in principle – and having each other’s backs through the thick and thin.
If you could create a definition of “black love” based off of your own love what would it be?
Enrique: Black love is unique, because it can be different from everyone else’s experience. We did life differently: we had kids first (three years in) and then settled into careers and such. So to me, black love means adapting, to one another and to the spaces you move through together.
Safiya: Black love is a fine balance of showing up and yielding space. It’s being available and present to really hear and support your partner, but it’s also understanding and making space for your partner to grow, change, and deal with existing in this world. It’s a dance between a visible love and an intangible love that gives your relationship room to evolve and grow.
What makes your love work?
Enrique: The fact that we’ve seen it modeled by our parents. We didn’t come into this with visions of grandeur; we understood that it takes work. You can’t take it lightly, and we’re committed to seeing it through together.
Safiya: Our love works because we’ve learned to accept each other’s differences. We know each well, so we know how the other operates; habits, dispositions, inclinations. Knowing that and respecting that early on in the relationship helps us empathize and serve each other in the ways we both need it.>br>
Richmond, VA and Washington, DC
Together for 18 years and married for 13
What does “black love” mean to each mean to you?
Enrique: I’m Panamanian, first generation, so my “black love” was like black love with a little bit of Adobo. The way black love was shown to me was to work hard, sacrifice, and provide for your children. Now it means passion, empathy. I have the same responsibilities to my family as were modeled to me, but I don’t have to sacrifice as much.
Safiya: Black love means strength and resilience to me. I’ve watched my parents love each other hard and fiercely for almost 40 years, so I’ve always known that black love means covering each other – in prayer and in principle – and having each other’s backs through the thick and thin.
If you could create a definition of “black love” based off of your own love what would it be?
Enrique: Black love is unique, because it can be different from everyone else’s experience. We did life differently: we had kids first (three years in) and then settled into careers and such. So to me, black love means adapting, to one another and to the spaces you move through together.
Safiya: Black love is a fine balance of showing up and yielding space. It’s being available and present to really hear and support your partner, but it’s also understanding and making space for your partner to grow, change, and deal with existing in this world. It’s a dance between a visible love and an intangible love that gives your relationship room to evolve and grow.
What makes your love work?
Enrique: The fact that we’ve seen it modeled by our parents. We didn’t come into this with visions of grandeur; we understood that it takes work. You can’t take it lightly, and we’re committed to seeing it through together.
Safiya: Our love works because we’ve learned to accept each other’s differences. We know each well, so we know how the other operates; habits, dispositions, inclinations. Knowing that and respecting that early on in the relationship helps us empathize and serve each other in the ways we both need it.>br>
02
Nnamdi and Maxine
Maxine, 38, and Nnamdi, 43
Location: Bergen (Norway in Europe)
Married
What does “black love” mean to each mean to you?
We have never really heard this term before. We live in Norway and have done for years. ‘Black love’ is not a term that is used here.
If you could create a definition of “black love” based off of your own love what would it be?
If we had to create a definition we would define black love as: “A powerful force for uniting, blessing and positively impacting the world!” This is because though we were both born and raised in Nigeria, due to the international lives we lived before we met (in several countries on 4 continents in my case) on our wedding we brought together over 500 people from 55 nations in a “Citizens of the World Unite” themed event – it was spectacular. We have both devoted our lives to making a positive impact on, and blessing people from all over the world through our work and lives.
What makes your love work?
The fact that God is our everything. He is the center of it all helping us love deep and forgive quickly. We make passion and fun a priority.
Location: Bergen (Norway in Europe)
Married
What does “black love” mean to each mean to you?
We have never really heard this term before. We live in Norway and have done for years. ‘Black love’ is not a term that is used here.
If you could create a definition of “black love” based off of your own love what would it be?
If we had to create a definition we would define black love as: “A powerful force for uniting, blessing and positively impacting the world!” This is because though we were both born and raised in Nigeria, due to the international lives we lived before we met (in several countries on 4 continents in my case) on our wedding we brought together over 500 people from 55 nations in a “Citizens of the World Unite” themed event – it was spectacular. We have both devoted our lives to making a positive impact on, and blessing people from all over the world through our work and lives.
What makes your love work?
The fact that God is our everything. He is the center of it all helping us love deep and forgive quickly. We make passion and fun a priority.
03
Anthony and Sheena
Anthony and Sheena, 35
Nashville, TN
Married
What does “black love” mean to each of you?
Anthony: For me black love is the ability to love your mate and be unapologetically black while celebrating black excellence. It’s the action of being proud of your heritage, hue, culture and having an unabashed pride along with it. Black love is a special kind of love due to the black experience and comes with its own unique aspects.
Sheena: Black love is unapologetically loud and proud! We’re at a point in society where there are more positive examples of black love than ever before. It’s empowering! Our ancestors had restraints and restrictions put on how and who they could love. So, today we’re able to fully embrace and explore the depths of loving someone from our soul while being able to outwardly show the world the richness, pureness and depth that is black love.
If you could create a definition of “black love” based off your own love what would it be?
We define black love within our relationship as love for each other, our people and our culture. It’s the type of love that is raw, beautiful and purifying. We have an infinity for the uniqueness of the black experience. What we hope is that our love only adds more beautiful, TRUTHFUL chapters to the story that started being written many years ago.
What makes your love work?
One of the biggest things in our marriage is the absence of gender roles. We view each other as equals and realize one day you’re Jordan but the next day you need to step back and be Pippen. The beauty of that is they both have six rings and won all of them TOGETHER! We’re huge communicators and always try to find the root of the problem and not just the on the surface symptom. We “fight” (argue) fairly (most times lol) and most of all we go on dates OFTEN!
Nashville, TN
Married
What does “black love” mean to each of you?
Anthony: For me black love is the ability to love your mate and be unapologetically black while celebrating black excellence. It’s the action of being proud of your heritage, hue, culture and having an unabashed pride along with it. Black love is a special kind of love due to the black experience and comes with its own unique aspects.
Sheena: Black love is unapologetically loud and proud! We’re at a point in society where there are more positive examples of black love than ever before. It’s empowering! Our ancestors had restraints and restrictions put on how and who they could love. So, today we’re able to fully embrace and explore the depths of loving someone from our soul while being able to outwardly show the world the richness, pureness and depth that is black love.
If you could create a definition of “black love” based off your own love what would it be?
We define black love within our relationship as love for each other, our people and our culture. It’s the type of love that is raw, beautiful and purifying. We have an infinity for the uniqueness of the black experience. What we hope is that our love only adds more beautiful, TRUTHFUL chapters to the story that started being written many years ago.
What makes your love work?
One of the biggest things in our marriage is the absence of gender roles. We view each other as equals and realize one day you’re Jordan but the next day you need to step back and be Pippen. The beauty of that is they both have six rings and won all of them TOGETHER! We’re huge communicators and always try to find the root of the problem and not just the on the surface symptom. We “fight” (argue) fairly (most times lol) and most of all we go on dates OFTEN!
04
Tiffany and Terrence
Tiffany, 29, and Terrence, 28
Chicago, IL
Engaged
What does “black love” mean to each mean to you?
Black love is lineage. It’s an infinite display of admiration for the black woman and her love for the black man.
If you could create a definition of “black love” based off of your own love what would it be?
Black love is…easy like breathing, fulfilling like eating, unity, commonality, understanding, strength shared between two people attempting to reach a common goal, an ancestral tie.
What makes your love work?
We knew how to love ourselves first, it made it easier to identify a worthy love in one another.
Chicago, IL
Engaged
What does “black love” mean to each mean to you?
Black love is lineage. It’s an infinite display of admiration for the black woman and her love for the black man.
If you could create a definition of “black love” based off of your own love what would it be?
Black love is…easy like breathing, fulfilling like eating, unity, commonality, understanding, strength shared between two people attempting to reach a common goal, an ancestral tie.
What makes your love work?
We knew how to love ourselves first, it made it easier to identify a worthy love in one another.
05
Mark and Jasmine
Mark and Jasmine, 30
New York City, NY
High school sweethearts married for 4 years, together for 8
What does “black love” mean to each of you?
Mark: Black love is love to me – it’s literally the only love I know. It’s rooted in trust and communication.
Jasmine: Black love means everything to me. It’s when #blackgirlmagic meets #blackboyjoy. It’s love and adoration not just for each other, but for your race as a whole.
If you could create a definition of “black love” based off of your own love what would it be?
Mark: I would define Black love in my perspective as taking each to day to become our best selves, so we can pour into each other our best qualities.
Jasmine: My definition of black love based off our own love story is a long-standing love founded in friendship, growth and unwavering support for one another.
What makes your love work?
You not only have to LOVE your partner, most importantly, you have to LIKE them as well. Having over 15 years of friendship at the foundation of our love story still shapes our marriage to this very day. The fact that we were friends first has allowed our relationship to be solidified in support. Genuinely having your partner as your best friend means that their wins are your wins, and their losses are your losses. It’s easier to become a unit when you have a solid foundation stemming from a sincere place of love. Also, the fact that we’ve grown up together over the past 15 years and have a history and memories together, strengthens our marriage, knowing that we’ve experienced everything together. Lastly, traveling the world has expanded our horizons collectively, gave us timeless memories, gives us alone time to look forward to, and keeps the marriage fun and fresh.
New York City, NY
High school sweethearts married for 4 years, together for 8
What does “black love” mean to each of you?
Mark: Black love is love to me – it’s literally the only love I know. It’s rooted in trust and communication.
Jasmine: Black love means everything to me. It’s when #blackgirlmagic meets #blackboyjoy. It’s love and adoration not just for each other, but for your race as a whole.
If you could create a definition of “black love” based off of your own love what would it be?
Mark: I would define Black love in my perspective as taking each to day to become our best selves, so we can pour into each other our best qualities.
Jasmine: My definition of black love based off our own love story is a long-standing love founded in friendship, growth and unwavering support for one another.
What makes your love work?
You not only have to LOVE your partner, most importantly, you have to LIKE them as well. Having over 15 years of friendship at the foundation of our love story still shapes our marriage to this very day. The fact that we were friends first has allowed our relationship to be solidified in support. Genuinely having your partner as your best friend means that their wins are your wins, and their losses are your losses. It’s easier to become a unit when you have a solid foundation stemming from a sincere place of love. Also, the fact that we’ve grown up together over the past 15 years and have a history and memories together, strengthens our marriage, knowing that we’ve experienced everything together. Lastly, traveling the world has expanded our horizons collectively, gave us timeless memories, gives us alone time to look forward to, and keeps the marriage fun and fresh.
06
Annie Louis and Jean-Yves
Annie, 27, and Jean-Yves, 36
Montreal, Canada
Dating for over 5 years
What does “Black love” mean to each mean to you?
Black love is not just dating a black man or woman, it’s something deeper. It’s embracing our culture and our origins. It is two conscious beings coming together to take on a life project to truly embrace their African backgrounds in their day-to-day while discovering what other cultures have to offer either through activities or traveling.
If you could create a definition of “black love” based off of your own love what would it be?
Our definition would be to define it as a love that’s similar to any other type of love. In a sense that there would be no double standards when it comes to the type of activities black couples can enjoy versus white couples; black love can be just as romantic and beautiful as what’s portrayed by our society. It doesn’t have to be any less and experimenting black love is to be with a black man or woman allowing you to be yourself fully and grow as an individual in whichever environment whether it be abroad as a visible minority.
What makes your love work?
To start off, respect is definitely at the core of our relationship. We accept each other as we are, no one is attempting to change to please the other, and as years go by, we have come to know and understand each other inside and out and act accordingly.
Also, our relationship is a vehicle which has helped us both to blossom into better individuals and we’ve learned to help one another grow into what we want to be, respectively, and find our purpose and alignment.
Lastly, communication is key. We constantly communicate from sharing our state of minds on a daily to the most simple events that occurred at the office. Not a work day goes by that we don’t text or call each other to check in on one another. Being in touch at all times allows a better understanding of the other; hence we cultivate a deeper connection.
Montreal, Canada
Dating for over 5 years
What does “Black love” mean to each mean to you?
Black love is not just dating a black man or woman, it’s something deeper. It’s embracing our culture and our origins. It is two conscious beings coming together to take on a life project to truly embrace their African backgrounds in their day-to-day while discovering what other cultures have to offer either through activities or traveling.
If you could create a definition of “black love” based off of your own love what would it be?
Our definition would be to define it as a love that’s similar to any other type of love. In a sense that there would be no double standards when it comes to the type of activities black couples can enjoy versus white couples; black love can be just as romantic and beautiful as what’s portrayed by our society. It doesn’t have to be any less and experimenting black love is to be with a black man or woman allowing you to be yourself fully and grow as an individual in whichever environment whether it be abroad as a visible minority.
What makes your love work?
To start off, respect is definitely at the core of our relationship. We accept each other as we are, no one is attempting to change to please the other, and as years go by, we have come to know and understand each other inside and out and act accordingly.
Also, our relationship is a vehicle which has helped us both to blossom into better individuals and we’ve learned to help one another grow into what we want to be, respectively, and find our purpose and alignment.
Lastly, communication is key. We constantly communicate from sharing our state of minds on a daily to the most simple events that occurred at the office. Not a work day goes by that we don’t text or call each other to check in on one another. Being in touch at all times allows a better understanding of the other; hence we cultivate a deeper connection.
07
Shanika and Theodore
Shanika and Theodore
Harlem, NY
Partners in Life
What does “black love” mean to each of you?
Shanika: A common trope within black love, is strength, both individually and collectively. Navigating this life as a Black body is so beautiful, and with it, comes its own set of unique experiences. Within black love there is a deep understanding of this.
Theodore: Black love to me is defined as connection that need not be spoken. There’s a connective tissue that’s apparent in black love; it doesn’t warrant questioning of the two individuals. There’s also an ease and sensuality that is unique to black love.
If you could create a definition of “black love” based off of your own love what would it be?
Shanika: The alignment of two souls in mind, body and spirit.
Theodore: Ease. Ease of function, ease of communication and ease of love.
What makes your love work?
Shanika: The intentional balance Theo and I uphold within our relationship. When I refer to him, it’s often as my partner because I see him as just that. We are best friends, creative counterparts, and care for one another proactively.
Theodore: We make openness and growth priorities. We come from a place of non judgement, but give each other healthy, honest feedback, and on a daily basis, we laugh, hard and often.
Harlem, NY
Partners in Life
What does “black love” mean to each of you?
Shanika: A common trope within black love, is strength, both individually and collectively. Navigating this life as a Black body is so beautiful, and with it, comes its own set of unique experiences. Within black love there is a deep understanding of this.
Theodore: Black love to me is defined as connection that need not be spoken. There’s a connective tissue that’s apparent in black love; it doesn’t warrant questioning of the two individuals. There’s also an ease and sensuality that is unique to black love.
If you could create a definition of “black love” based off of your own love what would it be?
Shanika: The alignment of two souls in mind, body and spirit.
Theodore: Ease. Ease of function, ease of communication and ease of love.
What makes your love work?
Shanika: The intentional balance Theo and I uphold within our relationship. When I refer to him, it’s often as my partner because I see him as just that. We are best friends, creative counterparts, and care for one another proactively.
Theodore: We make openness and growth priorities. We come from a place of non judgement, but give each other healthy, honest feedback, and on a daily basis, we laugh, hard and often.
08
Brandon and Erica
Brandon, 34, and Erica 33
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Married 6.5 years
What does “black love” mean to each mean to you?
Brandon: Black love means resilience in the world that is not always kind to black and Brown mean and women. Black Love is courageous, resilient and inspiring.
Erica: Black Love is what keeps me motivated, inspired, and fighting for my marriage and relationship everyday. I know through the good and bad times he will always be there with me cheering for me, praying for me, and always being my best friend.
If you could create a definition of “black love” based off of your own love what would it be?
Resilient and Tenacity. After experiencing the loss of two children and having a child who is physically disabled we could have given up on love and each other. We became more resilient in our relationship through this obstacles. We have learned to fight together and not each other!
What makes your love work?
Our love in God, optimism, believing God has brought us together to be husband and wife. Having faith that God will sustain our marriage and love no matter life’s circumstances. Our desire and love to keep trying even if we don’t get it right every time.
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Married 6.5 years
What does “black love” mean to each mean to you?
Brandon: Black love means resilience in the world that is not always kind to black and Brown mean and women. Black Love is courageous, resilient and inspiring.
Erica: Black Love is what keeps me motivated, inspired, and fighting for my marriage and relationship everyday. I know through the good and bad times he will always be there with me cheering for me, praying for me, and always being my best friend.
If you could create a definition of “black love” based off of your own love what would it be?
Resilient and Tenacity. After experiencing the loss of two children and having a child who is physically disabled we could have given up on love and each other. We became more resilient in our relationship through this obstacles. We have learned to fight together and not each other!
What makes your love work?
Our love in God, optimism, believing God has brought us together to be husband and wife. Having faith that God will sustain our marriage and love no matter life’s circumstances. Our desire and love to keep trying even if we don’t get it right every time.
09
Jalen and Melissa
Jalen and Melissa, 26
Atlanta, GA
Dating for 3 years
What does “black love” mean to each of you?
Jalen: I never wanted to fall in love with anyone more than a black woman. I’m proud to be a product of black love. And for me, black love is apart of ensuring the legacy of my future family.
Melissa: It’s important for us as a culture to love on one another, I just feel we need it the most in friendships, relationships, partnerships, etc. Being pro-black anything doesn’t mean your anti-everyone else but I think it’s important for the love to start within your own community.
If you could create a definition of “black love” based off of your own love what would it be?
Black love is continuing the legacy of our culture while committing to the evolution of ourselves individually, as a partnership and for our community; a healthy depiction of relationships within our culture and in the spaces where our ancestors may have not had the opportunity such as through higher education, traveling and new experiences.
What makes your love work?
Balance. We don’t take ourselves too serious. We really love to laugh and have fun like best friends. However, we’ve also taken the time to learn each other so we’re able to gauge when empathy should be extended and navigate that period of time together.
Atlanta, GA
Dating for 3 years
What does “black love” mean to each of you?
Jalen: I never wanted to fall in love with anyone more than a black woman. I’m proud to be a product of black love. And for me, black love is apart of ensuring the legacy of my future family.
Melissa: It’s important for us as a culture to love on one another, I just feel we need it the most in friendships, relationships, partnerships, etc. Being pro-black anything doesn’t mean your anti-everyone else but I think it’s important for the love to start within your own community.
If you could create a definition of “black love” based off of your own love what would it be?
Black love is continuing the legacy of our culture while committing to the evolution of ourselves individually, as a partnership and for our community; a healthy depiction of relationships within our culture and in the spaces where our ancestors may have not had the opportunity such as through higher education, traveling and new experiences.
What makes your love work?
Balance. We don’t take ourselves too serious. We really love to laugh and have fun like best friends. However, we’ve also taken the time to learn each other so we’re able to gauge when empathy should be extended and navigate that period of time together.
10
Jordan and Narcisse
Jordan, 32, and Narcisse, 24
Baton Rouge, LA
Engaged
What does “black love” mean to each mean to you?
Jordan: Carl and Harriette Winslow, Uncle Phil and Aunt Viv, Rock and Ella, Claire and Cliff. Black love is breaking the stereotype and becoming more like these examples. They went through it all and showed us that even in the roughest times, you can always make it work.
Narcisse: Black love is defying the odds. We can have the fairy tales, white picket fences and happily ever afters too. Black love is constantly finding new ways to love the same person over and over and believing in your happily ending. I relate it to music; True Love by Faith Evans, Happily Ever After by Case and Lyfe’s Must be Nice. Black love is the 90s, period. It’s the movies, the music and the mood.
If you could create a definition of “black love” based off of your own love what would it be?
Jordan: Black love is living your best life together and knowing that life is incomplete apart.
Narcisse: Black love is never giving up on each other; knowing that every moment won’t be perfect but realizing that when you have something real you hold on.
What makes your love work?
Jordan: The willingness to fight to keep our relationship makes this work. In a time when it’s so easy to move on to the next we’re willing to actually fight for what we want…each other.
Narcisse: Our love works because we complement each other; where I’m weak he’s my strength. It’s the corny jokes, random battle rap sessions in the middle of the kitchen and the 3am trips to Krispy Kreme. Even when no one else gets it, we get each other.
ESSENCE is hosting it’s first ever Black Love Gala in New York City on Saturday, October 13th, hosted by Instagram lovebirds Khadeen and Devale Ellis. Join us for the ultimate date night in celebration of Black love. Couples will enjoy an evening of romance, live music, food, drinks and photo opps in a magical one-of-a-kind black tie affair. Tickets are on sale here now. Get them before they’re sold out!
Baton Rouge, LA
Engaged
What does “black love” mean to each mean to you?
Jordan: Carl and Harriette Winslow, Uncle Phil and Aunt Viv, Rock and Ella, Claire and Cliff. Black love is breaking the stereotype and becoming more like these examples. They went through it all and showed us that even in the roughest times, you can always make it work.
Narcisse: Black love is defying the odds. We can have the fairy tales, white picket fences and happily ever afters too. Black love is constantly finding new ways to love the same person over and over and believing in your happily ending. I relate it to music; True Love by Faith Evans, Happily Ever After by Case and Lyfe’s Must be Nice. Black love is the 90s, period. It’s the movies, the music and the mood.
If you could create a definition of “black love” based off of your own love what would it be?
Jordan: Black love is living your best life together and knowing that life is incomplete apart.
Narcisse: Black love is never giving up on each other; knowing that every moment won’t be perfect but realizing that when you have something real you hold on.
What makes your love work?
Jordan: The willingness to fight to keep our relationship makes this work. In a time when it’s so easy to move on to the next we’re willing to actually fight for what we want…each other.
Narcisse: Our love works because we complement each other; where I’m weak he’s my strength. It’s the corny jokes, random battle rap sessions in the middle of the kitchen and the 3am trips to Krispy Kreme. Even when no one else gets it, we get each other.
ESSENCE is hosting it’s first ever Black Love Gala in New York City on Saturday, October 13th, hosted by Instagram lovebirds Khadeen and Devale Ellis. Join us for the ultimate date night in celebration of Black love. Couples will enjoy an evening of romance, live music, food, drinks and photo opps in a magical one-of-a-kind black tie affair. Tickets are on sale here now. Get them before they’re sold out!
