Nothing puts a damper on the romance during your holiday season quite like a series of miscommunications. To help you avoid the drama this year, we asked some of your favorite male love pros what’s really on the minds of men this season. Ladies, listen up!
1. Don’t Stress Yourself Over Holiday Gatherings
“The holidays are one of the few times when we can take a break and enjoy the season. Don’t stress yourself preparing for guests and gatherings because we want you to enjoy this time too.” – Lamar Tyler, Co-Founder of BlackandMarriedWithKids.com
2. Don’t Break the Bank On Christmas Gifts for the Kids
“We know you want to give the kids everything that you never had as a child but keep in mind the real reason for the season. Breaking the bank and the budget on ‘stuff’ that the kids won’t play with again after the 26th won’t help you reach our wealth goals.” – Tyler
3. Do Save Time for Intimacy
“It’s easy to run yourself ragged doing everything for everyone over the holidays but remember to stay intentional when it comes to intimacy with your man. Those special late night moments between just the two of you will keep you charged up, renewed and stress free.” – Tyler
4. Allow Us To Celebrate You
“From the time you wake up until the time you come home, you deal with more than most of us would ever be able to handle. The daily struggles of work and home never show on your face, but we can only imagine the pressure you feel. A gentlewoman’s toughness isn’t expressed through a distressed forehead and a frown – it’s intricately displayed via high heels, flats or sneakers on bruised toes, carrying the weight of humanity on her hips. Your resilience is brilliance. You’re built to endure all that life throws at you. That doesn’t just deserve a round of applause. That deserves a holiday! We’re at your service.” – Enitan Bereola, Author of Gentlewoman: Etiquette for a Lady, from a Gentleman
5. Money Doesn’t Matter
“Who cares if we can’t afford the expensive gifts and winter vacations? We don’t have to ball to have a ball. The holidays are all about family, friends and loved ones no matter where you are. Invite the crew over and pull out the Taboo with table wine. Let’s lay up all night by the fireplace laughing and creating unforgettable memories with the people who matter most.” – Bereola
6. Communication Comes First
“It’s the most wonderfully hectic time of the year! With the kids jingle belling and everyone telling you, “Be of good cheer.” But there’s nothing cheerful about a last minute grocery run because the two of us assumed each other would be preparing the meal. This is a rare relationship moment where excessively long and detailed text messaging is desired. No stress. We’ll get through this together!” – Bereola
7. Meeting Mom Doesn’t Mean Marriage
“We’re excited for you to meet our parents. For most of us, it actually means something. We want to bask in this moment as much as you do. Let’s just fellowship, laugh and create crazy memories. Don’t go selecting your bridesmaids just yet. But do pass a piece of that parboiled and pureed sweet potato pie!” –Bereola
8. Leave Your Phone In Your Purse Please
“Instead of texting at the table, try talking at the table. Let the moment be our moment. Social media doesn’t need to know our every move. Be present. If you don’t want your phone out of sight, then let’s agree to put all devices in the middle of the table – the first one to slip up and use it has to do the dishes. Deal? When your smart phone battery dies, we can start living.” – Bereola
9. The Perfect Scent Makes Perfect Sense
“Whether we just started dating or we’ve been together for years, this is a holiday gift that benefits the both of us. Think: A big bold bottle of Tom Ford Tobacco Vanille with a classic bottle of Chanel Platinum-Égoïste. Perhaps you can pair it with a nice knit tie for us to put on and take you out in. A gift is thoughtful. Make sure it’s a complete thought.” – Bereola
10. Don’t Hold Back
“We still enjoy the holidays as much as you do. Despite the stress, last minute shopping, in-laws and traffic that makes us wish we took Uber. We want to pick out the perfect Christmas tree with you and decorate together while Donny Hathaway plays in the background. We want to hang up lights around the staircase and put the stamps on holiday cards. We’re excited to get in the spirit, too…even if we pretend to be too cool for it.” – Bereola
11. Gift Cards Work Every Time
“When in doubt, get him a gift card. A gift card to a store he frequents will make him one happy shopper.” – Kevin Carr, Dating Coach and Author of Date Responsibly: Choosing Better Men
12. Stick With The Basics
“Having trouble finding something for the guy who has everything? Feel free to hand him a card full of dead presidents. Cash never disappoints. Add in some cigars along with his favorite brand of whiskey to help him to savor this holiday season.” – Carr
13. The Way To His Heart Is Still Through His Stomach
“Men always want food. You don’t necessarily have to cook, but he will want to eat. If the holiday madness has you worn out, no worries. Pick up the phone and order him some take out. You can never go wrong with pizza and wings – even over the holidays.” – Carr