When I decided to embark on a solo trip around the high seas of the Mediterranean, none of my friends were really surprised. This is the way I roll. Been divorced for 10 years, and dating -- well, we all know how that goes. It takes a "real boyfriend" for me to want to travel with him; and right now, I don't have one. And while I love traveling with others, I am extremely comfortable with me -- I'm my own BFF... Here's what you had to say:
Kishonda commented: "Good for you! I am a 35-year-old single woman who has had enough with waiting on her friends and a man to go somewhere. Next year is my year to travel...solo. I'm excited."
Renee wrote: "Right on! I too started doing this five years ago. I have done solo trips to London, Paris, and a destination spa. My mother thought I was crazy but understood the independent streak that I have."
When I decided to embark on a solo trip around the high seas of the Mediterranean, none of my friends were really surprised. This is the way I roll. Been divorced for 10 years, and dating — well, we all know how that goes. It takes a “real boyfriend” for me to want to travel with him; and right now, I don’t have one. And while I love traveling with others, I am extremely comfortable with me — I’m my own BFF! This particular journey started off after our bi-annual European family vacation was derailed by the financial crisis. The family ended up doing their own thing: my brother and his wife opted to renew their vows in Italy (which, of course left me out), and the rest of the fam went to Vegas. I’d had enough of Sin City so I mustered up the courage to tell my mother (yes, even at my age) I wasn’t going to Vegas. She was hot indeed, but when I told her that I was going to sail the high seas of the Mediterranean solo instead, she wasn’t exactly surprised. If your mama doesn’t know you, who does? The week before my trip was just like any other week: work, work and more work, but coupled with computer glitches! “Not right before I’m leaving,” I screamed! This couldn’t have happened at a more inopportune time. I’m supposed to be on vacation, not worrying about my computer! Before I left, I took my computer to the Genius Bar at the Apple Store and described that my laptop screen was fading in and out of consciousness. The “genius” ran a test and gave my computer the thumbs up to travel. Hmm… that didn’t sound right but, okay. Then I asked him, “What if it goes crazy while I’m there.” Just take it, it’s fine, he says. Okay, “genius,” I thought. Meanwhile, my mind started tabulating my sky-high cell phone bill at $2 per minute roaming charges trying to get tech support because I knew that wouldn’t last. And I was right, not 10 minutes after I turned on my computer in Rome to board my boat, it happened again — a dead screen! How am I supposed to work? How am I supposed to blog? My mind was screaming #*!%* and I wanted to lay my head on my honey’s shoulder and cry! Oh, wait… I don’t have one at the moment! So I went into superwoman mode and began to problem solve. After all, isn’t that what we singlistas do? After a trip into town when the boat docked the next day, three computer stores and a few hundred dollars (and another small electrical setback) later, I was golden. Finally, I can get down to the business of relaxation. After all, that’s what I came here for. I put on my swimsuit and headed to the boat’s pool. As I looked around the ship’s 191 other passengers, I was sure I was the only girl riding solo. I felt like I was living that 2Pac song, “All Eyez on Me.” Most of the people were coupled up, and I swore I felt people looking at me, thinking, “Why is she here by herself?” or “Gosh, I’m glad I’m not like her, can’t get a man!” Of course, I’m thinking, “STOP STARING, I do lots of stuff by myself, even when I have a man!” The funny thing about going solo is that you talk to everybody, and far more people talk to you. I’m a Chatty Cathy anyway, so I’d struck up conversations with half the boat and vice versa by the end of the first night. I’ve met lots of nice people in the last 24 hours. And the interesting thing I’ve gleaned is that far more women travel alone than men. I’ve met five other women traveling alone and not one man I’ve met or seen is traveling solo. All the singlistas have the same mantra: “I just wanted to go on vacation so I went.” Amen, I said! While I may have not had a shoulder to cry on when my computer broke, I don’t have a man driving me to tears for any other reason. And although I didn’t have anyone to go to dinner with the first night, I took my Kindle as my date and met another singlista. By day two, I had three dinner invitations. Don’t get me wrong, I’m open to a relationship, and even want one… if he’s a good man and seems like a good match, but I’m not going to wait for Mr. Right or settle for Mr Right Now to have a companion on my trip. Just call me Ms. Right Now because I’m seizing the moment; our next minute isn’t promised. I’m celebrating my life and the fact that I’m a fabulous, fearless female! (Tomorrow, Cinque Terra….)
Lisa Bonner is the owner of Bonner Law, PC a boutique entertainment law firm with offices in New York City.
