Commentary: Single Parent Adoption, Right or Wrong?

I sometimes wonder if I will be doing a disservice to my future child by raising him or her without a dad. My dad was the greatest dad ever! He was the apple of my eye, he loved me tremendously, and always put me first. I reveled in the joy of being daddy’s little girl. I wish that every girl in the world could experience that feeling, especially my own child… One of my favorite childhood memories was greeting my dad when he came home from work. Out of the 30 different cars on our street I always knew the sound of his car driving up the block. I would stop whatever I was doing (usually playing at a neighbor’s house) and run home as fast as I could. I would scream, “Poppy!”, and jump into his arms. He’d carry me inside, kiss my mom hello and I would sit on his lap as they talked about their day in Creole. While I did not understand what they were saying, I felt completely blissful and happy. I have not experienced this same emotion as an adult. I imagine that my wedding day will be the time that I feel this way. Daddies have a lot to offer. Their roles, love and affection are different than that of a mother. I don’t care how tough you think your mother was — there is a whole new level of fear invoked in a child when your mama says, “Wait until your daddy gets home!” Recently, my single friend who is a mom told me a story about her 10-year-old son who got an erection while she was shopping at Victoria Secret. It happened again later that week when they were watching Nicole of the Pussycat Dolls perform on Dancing with the Stars. She immediately deleted those activities from their schedule, but more importantly realized that her son was in need of a male role model who could talk to him about the changes that his body was undergoing. These types of moments scare me. When I think about raising children, I know that I want the best for their lives. So, why would I willingly subject them to a fatherless household? Is this the best situation for a child or am I being selfish? Am I being cavalier by thinking that I can do this on my own? I know that I have a lot to offer as a parent but no matter how hard I try I’ll never be a daddy. Talk Back: Tell me what you think about being a single parent or being raised by a single parent. Click here for more My Adoption Chronicles with Tamara Francois