If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, including financial abuse, visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline or call 1-800-799-7233. Visit Ujima’s website for more information and resources. By getting educated and involved, you can be a crucial part of the solution and help create a safer, more supportive environment for all survivors.
When we think of domestic violence, we often imagine physical bruises and scars, but many don’t realize — some of the deepest wounds are invisible. Financial abuse is one of these hidden forms of control, where access to money is used to dominate victims. This tactic is particularly harmful for Black women, who already navigate systemic barriers and cultural pressures that make seeking safety from abusive relationships even more difficult. By understanding the realities of financial abuse, we can inspire meaningful action to support Black women who face this type of coercion.
Financial abuse can manifest in various ways, such as preventing victims from working, harassing them at their jobs, or tightly controlling their access to money. Shockingly, 78% of Americans do not recognize financial abuse as a form of domestic violence, despite its presence in 99% of abusive relationships. This lack of awareness leaves many victims unable to identify their situation as abusive and uncertain of how to seek help.
As a survivor and advocate, Neisha Himes’ personal account underscores how financial abuse manifests. Himes’ then-boyfriend harassed her constantly, calling her repeatedly at work and showing up unannounced, which put her job at risk. These actions not only threatened her livelihood but also her mental and emotional well-being.
“If you had asked me back then, I wouldn’t have known it was financial abuse. I always looked at abusive relationships like it was black eyes and bruises. One of the most prevalent questions is ‘why doesn’t she just leave?’ And I pose the question in return: If you had no money, no resources, no support system, no access to family in the area – could you just leave?” -Neisha Himes
Karma Cottman, CEO of Ujima, an organization dedicated to addressing domestic violence and sexual assault in the Black community, emphasizes the systemic nature of financial abuse, stating, “The inextricable co-existence of financial abuse, emotional abuse, and physical abuse is undeniable.” Black women earn 69 cents for every dollar made by white, non-Hispanic men, making it more difficult for them to recover from the type of financial abuse that Ms. Himes experienced. Moreover, Black women are disproportionately affected, being six times more likely to be murdered than white women, with over half of these homicides related to intimate partner violence.
Stereotypes and tropes can discourage Black women from seeking help, fearing they won’t be believed or will be judged. “Black women are often labeled as ‘gold diggers’ who harm Black men when they speak publicly about the violence they experience, particularly financial abuse,” Cottman explains. This cultural pressure to protect the image of Black men can keep women silent and in harm’s way.
“The tendency to ignore the financial diversity of our community and see us as monolithic has left Black women more vulnerable to experiencing financial abuse,” says Cottman. Middle-class Black women and those with greater financial resources are often overlooked, feeling pressured into staying in the relationship to maintain a certain lifestyle or status, or shamed by others for “allowing” the abuse to happen since they have the means to leave “if they wanted to.”
Himes’ story is a testament to resilience and advocacy. She endured various forms of abuse, from verbal to physical, emotional, and financial. Reflecting on her journey, she explains, “He never took money from me, but he would do things like ask to see the receipt if I went to the store just to control where I was going.” Her abuser’s tactics extended to breaking her phone, disrupting her ability to communicate and further isolating her.
After leaving the relationship, she dedicated her life to helping others by starting her own nonprofit, G.R.O.W. Foundation (Girls Recognizing Our Worth), where for the last 8 years she has supported and empowered survivors. Building on this work, she also founded Neisha Christine Consulting, an organization providing individualized domestic violence education training and consulting on violence prevention and intervention program development. “I started speaking out to get it off my chest. I will not shut up,” Himes declares, highlighting the importance of using her voice to inspire change.
Addressing financial abuse among Black women requires a dual approach: immediate support for survivors and long-term strategies to dismantle systemic barriers. Sharisse Kimbro from The Allstate Foundation underscores the role of access to financial resources in empowering survivors, noting, “Lack of access to financial resources is the number one barrier to survivor safety. Studies show that on average survivors have only $288 they can access on their own. Imagine trying to find safe housing, paying your bills and covering basic needs for less than $300.” The Allstate Foundation has invested in programs that offer direct cash assistance and financial education to help survivors regain control over their finances. This year, the Allstate Foundation provided a grant to Chicago organization The Network to pilot the first-ever survivor exclusive guaranteed income project.
For those who suspect someone is experiencing financial abuse, offering a listening ear, holding money for them, or providing transportation can make a significant difference. Encouraging victims to reach out to organizations specializing in domestic violence can provide them with the resources needed to achieve safety and start anew.
Financial abuse is a silent, pervasive issue that particularly affects Black women, who face the dual burden of racial and gender biases. By recognizing the signs of financial abuse and providing support, we can help survivors like Neisha Himes not just survive but thrive.
Supporting Black women facing domestic violence is about more than intervention; it’s about building a community where they are valued, protected, and empowered to live without fear.
Recognizing financial abuse requires awareness of its subtle signs. They include:
- Controlling Access to Money: The abuser limits access to bank accounts, credit cards, and cash, forcing the victim to ask for money or justify every expense.
- Preventing Employment: The abuser sabotages or prevents the victim from getting or maintaining a job, keeping them financially dependent.
- Forcing Debt: The abuser coerces the victim into taking out loans or opening credit lines in their name.
- Misusing Victim’s Funds: The abuser takes or uses the victim’s money or resources for personal gain without consent.
- Exclusion from Financial Decisions: The abuser excludes the victim from significant financial choices, leaving them powerless over their own financial situation.
- Threatening to Ruin Credit: The abuser threatens to destroy the victim’s credit score or financial reputation.
- Destroying property: The abuser forces the victim to bear the costs of repairs or replacements, draining their financial resources and limiting their independence.
As a community, we need to be vigilant in identifying these signs and supporting those affected.
For nearly two decades, The Allstate Foundation has invested more than $100 million to disrupt the cycle and reduce the prevalence of relationship abuse. With nonprofit partners, the Foundation empowers survivors with resources to reach financial security and safety, equips the domestic violence sector for sustainability, and supports a narrative shift for culture change. To support healthy relationships for all, the Foundation invites men and youth into conversations around domestic violence to prevent abuse before it starts.