Whether you’re returning to the dating scene, enjoying a new relationship or hoping your beau takes the hint and pops the question, unwrap your biggest love wish this holiday with help from your favorite romance experts.
“RSVP “YES.” The season’s many events are perfect to get your flirt on. Along with work and community galas, look for parties on meetup.com and Facebook. Tech groups are a go-to for eligible bachelors. — Charreah K. Jackson, ESSENCE Relationships Editor
SHARE YOUR SEARCH. While catching up with family and friends, mention your quest to connect with interesting people. Tinder may be great, but many folks still meet their mate through people they know. — Charreah K. Jackson, ESSENCE Relationships Editor
GIVE YOURSELF A GOAL. When I was single, I committed to gaining 200 pounds every two weeks: I wanted a hunk of a man on my arm twice a month. Aiming to meet new people kept me open to fresh experiences. Jump-start your dating with a manageable target. — Charreah K. Jackson, ESSENCE Relationships Editor
MAKE OVER YOUR BEDROOM. To reignite the flame, begin in your pleasure headquarters. Clean out the clutter, then invest in luxe bedding, window treatments, a coat of paint and, if you really are up to a splurge, a new mattress. Enjoy hotel sex at home in your improved castle. — Charli Penn, ESSENCE.com Relationships Editor
STROLL THROUGH STEAMY MEMORIES. Remember that naughty night in the Caribbean? It doesn’t have to be Throwback Thursday to reminisce with your partner. Pop in those old memory cards and print out a few of your favorite digital blasts from the past. Relive passionate moments to keep the spark alive. — Charli Penn, ESSENCE.com Relationships Editor
BE ADVENTUROUS. Part of what makes falling in love fun is discovering a new person. Do something new and exciting. Learn French or even make love and art at the same time with the Love Is Art project kit ($239, loveisartkit.com). — Charli Penn, ESSENCE.com Relationships Editor
CUDDLE UP TO BUBBLES. Take a quick trip to Egypt with Cleopatra’s Bath, which is inspired by the bold queen and will leave your skin silky smooth. Here’s my recipe: whole milk, honey, rose oil, rose petals, coconut oil and cinnamon. — Abiola Abrams, author of The Sacred Bombshell Handbook of Self-Love
IMPROVE YOUR LINGERIE GAME. It’s time for an undie upgrade. Throw out old pieces and snag some foxy selections, including that garment you’ve seen in your fantasies. Make sure whatever touches your skin makes you feel like a goddess. — Abiola Abrams, author of The Sacred Bombshell Handbook of Self-Love
BOOK A SULTRY BOUDOIR SHOOT. Release your feminine energy for the camera and capture it on film. Do a steamy bedroom scene or channel a legendary goddess like Josephine Baker. Hire a photographer or ask a friend to snap the pic. Celebrate you! — Abiola Abrams, author of The Sacred Bombshell Handbook of Self-Love
ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL. It’s okay to be angry, sad, afraid or embarrassed for a short period. Share your feelings with close friends and family who are positive and are good listeners. — Sherry L. Blake, Ph.D., author of The Single-Married Woman
LET IT GO, LET IT GO! The romance is over. Do not contact your ex. Delete all numbers and messages to avoid reminiscing on good times and minimizing why you parted. Don’t convince yourself you need to talk to your ex for closure. Closure is when you move on with your life. — Sherry L. Blake, Ph.D., author of The Single-Married Woman
TAKE YOUR TIME. Now that you know what you do and don’t want in a relationship, vow to never settle for less. Enjoy making friends but don’t feel rushed to date before you’re ready. — Sherry L. Blake, Ph.D., author of The Single-Married Woman
TELL HIM WHAT YOU NEED. Men do not have ESP. Instead of going off after he has disappointed you, wait for a relaxed time to let your man know what makes you happy. Give ideas of the things you’d like for date night and for gifts, or the ways you would appreciate his help around the house. The less he has to discover on his own, the more likely he is to meet your expectations. Be patient, prayerful and encouraging no matter what. — Michelle McKinney Hammond, author of How to Get the Best Out of Your Man
CELEBRATE HIM WHEN HE GETS IT RIGHT! Like us, men love praise. When you tell him how much you appreciate what he did, he will be more motivated to find other ways to please you. —- Michelle McKinney Hammond, author of How to Get the Best Out of Your Man
ASK HIM WHAT HE WANTS. A real man feels challenged to be on his game if his woman is addressing his needs. — Michelle McKinney Hammond, author of How to Get the Best Out of Your Man
